Even When It's Not Christmas


I will not tell you

what I want to

in this world

Talking like that is

laying myself


such a steep hill

to start


When the words

open with a question

you can watch me



I don’t ask,

just wait,

maybe wanting

will make truth


but sometimes

when the wind blows

when the leaves fall

when the snow sticks

I don’t need questions or answers

when I’m this close to you


I could fall down at your door

I think I’d end up with

too many bruises

but I wouldn’t mind

as long as I can paint them on your wall

so your story knows

I was here


Sometimes that

silent crash

breaks the glass

around the world


The rustles say I’m a mess

but I’m a mess with you

under these Christmas lights


My heart is made of

answers that won’t break

The next time

it’s a dragon-cold night

I don’t have to tell you what I want

but I will still whisper it to the window

the fog will find your hands

and they will be around me

just when I need


and then the ground thaws

and you’re still here


you can’t know

how much that means

to me


Even when it’s not Christmas

I know there is someone

who loves me

I hope I can be that


for you

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 12/18/17

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