Saving Sanity (day 104)

I want to forget how my voice cracked

when for two moments I let myself unconsciously brush my fingers against your skin

I could because nothing was rattling inside you yet,

you weren’t telling yourself that this is probably not the best idea you’ve ever had

but I want to tell you it’s not your idea, it’s the spark you coaxed out of my chest with your own match

and now it’s just me knowing that for a second my dreams were passing thoughts I could catch without thinking

It was so perfect to be careless around you.

 

All I can tell myself is

I’ve strangled stronger things than you,

especially when they’re homegrown,

poisoned redwood trees blooming up my throat.

I’ve fought harder devils than this crumbling thing we tried to call love,

especially when they’re my own crystals

I somehow tossed off the doorstep

I try to take care of things I love but they still end up harsher to sift through than my thoughts,

I need to save some sanity for the next few fights.

 

But I can’t forget how after the perfect moments passed

you caught my fingers to stop them

(shouldn’t have been so gentle, it would have been more effective that way)

so I’ll pay my dues in dust or drowning

to be worth my weight in gold.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 11/8/16

Saving sanity

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allets's picture

Appreciate This One

I also need to "...save some sanity for the next few fights..." Adversarial folks are all around, jerking off nonsense, coming at me with irrational suggestions like why did you throw away my footie? I love footies. I would never toss them. I'm just sayin' :D enjoyed these words - Lady A -

 


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