I want who we want to become
I think this is what we need
And all you have to do is keep falling
I’m letting you in now, you’ve
had enough longing now, you’ve
shaken her off the back of your pillow
I lift you off your knees and see
you’ve never known standing straight before
You hold my unraveling gently, like snowfall
You’ve already made it to the end of my maze
now etch me like a lost secret on your palm
Ink’s less messy than the ghosts in your bed
Somehow I trust you to hold all I have
You know me better than the truth
I will love you however you need me to love you.
I want to forget how my voice cracked
when for two moments I let myself unconsciously brush my fingers against your skin
I could because nothing was rattling inside you yet,
you weren’t telling yourself that this is probably not the best idea you’ve ever had
but I want to tell you it’s not your idea, it’s the spark you coaxed out of my chest with your own match
and now it’s just me knowing that for a second my dreams were passing thoughts I could catch without thinking
It was so perfect to be careless around you.
All I can tell myself is
I’ve strangled stronger things than you,
especially when they’re homegrown,
poisoned redwood trees blooming up my throat.
I’ve fought harder devils than this crumbling thing we tried to call love,
especially when they’re my own crystals
I somehow tossed off the doorstep
I try to take care of things I love but they still end up harsher to sift through than my thoughts,
I need to save some sanity for the next few fights.
But I can’t forget how after the perfect moments passed
you caught my fingers to stop them
(shouldn’t have been so gentle, it would have been more effective that way)
so I’ll pay my dues in dust or drowning
to be worth my weight in gold.