I was in a dark place again, dont know where.

Couldnt breath and didnt care.

Then suddenly it hit me. This is not about you.

Its about the the people you love so you must see it through.

Ok so i have been self destructive for so very long.

I really didnt realise im weak, thought i was strong.

Seen it from an angle havent seen before.

Didnt even know, just went on and on.

Didnt even remember how and when i lost my faith.

It didnt even come to me in that hospital bed.

Thinking of it now  you my Lord god you must have led me from there


I came home to my family, struggled day by day.

Had the audacity, not a thought to pray.

Shut everyone out again to much for me to bare.

Didnt realise there are people who truly care.

Self pity took hold again round in circles i go.

Eating sleeping,laughing , weeping nothing meaningful.

Pain , tiredness ,confusion just the same today.

Then i start to question why am i feeling this way.

Dreams became muddled nothing made any sense eating sleeping laughing weeping.

Couldnt do the housework couldnt do the chores.

I go to my bed again and close all the doors.

Being a burden to the man I truly love,

please help give me strengh my god above.

I want to end it all but cant cause them pain

Eating, sleeping, laughing, weeping again.

What have I done god to be suffering so.

I questioned myself and didnt even know.

I thought of the past and of my family.

How we all suffered and will eternally.

Untill we can ask Lord God for forgivness from him for hurting each other in the way that we do.

It hit me at once am i paying for my parents sins ?

what can i do ?.

I looked at the holy book and sure enough its there.

I must ask for forgiveness and thank my god in prayer.

For all that I am and those who I love I PRAY FOR SALVATION FROM MY LORD ABOVE.

Please protect our children god I hope its not to late.

When my time comes pray we are worthy of the open gate.

Only you can decide when the time is right,

for now I will try redeem myself and my family with all my might.

Thank you for now dear Lord for guiding me to the light.

I promise to pray every day and every night.

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eternitywhispers's picture

it speaks more than what's

it speaks more than what's written...beautiful.