Why are my feelings always so dark?

Why are my feelings always so dark?

By jfarrell

 

Why, when something goes wrong,

Do I always go straight to thoughts and feelings of suicide?

I’m sure many have been where I am;

Done nothing wrong and just lumbered

With £800 worth of rent arrears.

And, though I don’t imagine they smiled,

Said “Thank you, guv’nor, shaft me some more”

I do imagine they got on with it;

Sucked it up, went out and paid it all off.

Instead, I just feel down, dark, full of rage

Full of self pity

This new obstacle before me just saps

What little hope and confidence I had

And all I can do is sit down and cry “I give up”

Why?

Why can’t I be like others,

Just suck it up and get on with it;

Find a job, pay off them arrears

Instead I feel I just can’t go on anymore

Why try? They’re only gonna kick me in the teeth again

And tell me to suck it up

I hate this self pity and I hate this anger

Hopefully, one day, a worm will turn

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

good morning, Worm, your honour

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allets's picture

Fighting Depression

combatting despair, wresting sorrow and loss and failure and the whole pail full of negative things that can happen and usually do - is like weeds, they always come back for everyone - coping varies - I think death will come eventually, cry and then get up and do something - like write a poem or cut down some weeds.

 


...a