Keep Smiling Blue Eyes

More Than A Memory

Blonde hair, blue eyes

Skin fair, so pale

So little, so innocent

With bones so frail

You loved me, you guided me

You showed me how

Your raised me up

To who I am now...

Blonde hair, blue eyes

Innocent no more

But stronger and better

Than ever before

You taught me to cope

You taught me to love

You taught me the words

Of our God above

You struggled, you fought

To be by my side

You overlooked my rebellion...

Forgave my lies

We loved, we laughed

We lived, we learned

You helped me gain

Everything I earned

A mother to me

A daughter to you

No father there,

So closer we grew

We fought, we swore

Said words, took them back

Spoke of qualites

We either had, or lacked

We hugged, we kissed

Smiled and cried

We had hopes, we believed

We misjudged, we lied

We sometimes failed

We tried again

We walked away

But never gave in

My story, I'll tell

It'll take some work

But I need to release

All of this hurt...

As a young child you were there

For every memory made

For everything I needed

Every sports game played

Mommy, mommy look at me

Playing in the sand

Mommy look at this picture for you

(A turkey, made from my hand)

Mommy, mommy, look at me

As I twirled around on the ice

Skating freely, dancing around

In my costume, and little tights

Mommy, can I just please spend the night?

Mommy, can she come over here?

I promise we wont wake you

"ok, ok, my dear"

Mommy look, I got an "A"

You'd be so proud of me

Even prouder the next time around

When on my report card were 3

Parent Teacher confrences:

"Amanda talks a lot"

"Well go figure," you would say

With the most serious face you got.

Years passed and passed

I was no longer a little girl

But even if I didn't show it

You were still my world

Hey Mom, I have a boyfriend!

You were there for my broken heart

When he decided to end things

That in reality didn't start

Mom, I'm going to prom

I need a dress to wear

You had to make sure

That I'd be the most beautiful one there

The day you caught me smoking

I will still never forget

You let that one slide

But didn't approve of it

The night I came home drunk

And puked all over the floor

"The food at McDonalds was bad"

You just shut my door

Mom, why are you getting sick

Why can they not fix you

"Its ok babe.."

"I swear we'll make it through"

You pushed and pushed the illness

The strongest woman I have known

Even though you left me

I will never be alone

I still carry your love

Look at pictures we took

Re-read notes you wrote

That I keep in my poetry book

"To my little precious girl, amanda"

"I love you with all my heart"

"Hope you have a great day- and happiness always"

Mom, to me this is art.

"Keep Smiling Blue Eyes"

"Love you forever - Mom"

I promise to you now

That just for you, I'll be strong

And yeah, I miss you like crazy

Not a day goes by

That I dont think about you

Or a day that I dont cry

Even if it isn't showing

I hurt, and need you here

But in the end I will have you forever

And will never again feel fear

The fear of never seeing you

Because I'll have you to hold

So from there we will continue

To let our love mold.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this for my mom. I love her soo much. I miss her like crazy.

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blueeyes's picture

Having lost my dad to cancer, this really hit home for me. We fought a lot (we were far too alike) but I loved him dearly. While we were not as close at it sounds you and your mom are (your mom sounds like a truly wonderful person, btw), I can still imagine your pain.

This is such a beautiful poem. So laden with feeling; love, pain, sorrow, joy and strength. I can't think of a better way to honor the memory of someone who so obviously was your world. Someone whos world began and ended with you.

You have such a precious gift with words and a heart twisting way of creating beautiful mental imagery.

Here's to hoping you continue sharing.


frozteesback's picture

This poem is amazingly deep, and truly touching.
Honestly, some of the best work I have read.
And that is because it is truly from the heart.
Having lost loved ones, it really hits home.
Beautiful, can't wait to read more.

Lindsay Carol's picture

First of all, I wanted to say thank you for your lovely comments on my poetry. It really means a lot to me.

Secondly, this poem is so beautiful. I can see the shape of this relationship so clearly while reading it, and on the technical side of writing, your sense of rhyme is so effortless it is astounding.

But outside of anything quantifiable, this is simply a beautiful, heartfelt, amazing piece of work. I'm sure your mother would be very touched by it. :)


aura's picture

Hey my myspace is add me ") If it asks for the last name just put in Nakata.

I posted a new poem.
Its called Suicide Note.

Lemme know what you think ")

xoxo Aura

aura's picture

This poem is sooo amazing!

I got goosbumps sooo bad even after reading it twice.
The second time i read it aloud to my boyfriend, and started choking up.

This poem is absolutely beautiful.
Is it ok if i copy and paste it into my blog on myspace? Of course i'll put your name at the bottom because the writer deserves the credit.

But i am so taken back by this poem. Its absolutely amazing!

PLEASE post some more!
im anxious to see what your mind can unleash.

And thank you for the comment on my poems.
I'll be posting some more soon.

xoxo Aura

xoxo Aura