Harsh Defense

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Poems

For even though I felt the warmth,

my heart was frozen still.

Thoughts were limp and motionless.

I don't know what to do.

I did before, although it wrong.

But still it was something.

My past always owns more than my present.

Richer then, but what's it now?

So, it achieves nothing?



The few possessions that I do have

are not as satisfying.

Greed instead of selflessness.

Hate instead of loveliness.

Weak replaces harmony.

Lust replaces dignity.



A moment by, just like this

makes me scared and terrified.

Reality of life itself must be my biggest fear.

And rightfully so; it hurt me so.

An eery knife to pierce my soul.

As though to kill me off.

The real me inside my crust.



The shape of me is what bothers me.

Everything that's wrong with the world

I mold in my perfecton.

Deep inside there's another girl.

The one that's suppose to be.

She'll never see the light of day

so cry it away and hide the pain.

Block out the sun and praise the cold.



But we're not all like this.

You were always who you are.

Inside and out; thick and thin.

I'm shamed before your presence.

That's why I did what I did.

You made me worse, it's deeper now.



Like a swallowed ice cube stuck in your throat.

The pain you'll see is me.

After all, ice melts, but it takes awhile.

Numbness drifts with the ages.

I've finally swallowed my ice.

Unstuck, yet it's still numb.

Eventually lifting with time.



Maybe if it warms up in here

I'll go to find her deep inside

and let her thaw with me

untill we melt together as one.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Poem written after a robo trip. Personal as all hell to me.

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poetvg's picture

now that
sounds rough
to go thru