You are like having the flu



          You make me so nervous I want to vomit on the floor. Except I sure as hell don’t want to clean it up, so I just hold my breath and wait for it to pass…but it never passes. It just forgets its there until our eyes meet again and the nausea comes on and I get dizzy; thinking too many thoughts about how you make me choke on my tongue, and trip on my words, and fumble like a child wearing roller skates for the first time, and that maybe you could just give me knee pads and I could save on Band-Aids because when you break me I am sure it will bleed for years. What I mean to say is I put on make-up to catch your eye and you are always avoiding looking at me, except for when you are not which is often, well whenever you think I’m not noticing you doing it, and then you stare like this piercing Sci-Fi laser gun and I can feel you burning your perception of me into the back of my head, and I happen to like my hair so I’d appreciate it if you just didn’t. But then if you stopped I’d be sad because I kind of like your perception of me… until I catch you laser painting and then you just seem to look angry, and I am assured by all my friends that that’s just your face, but let me just tell you, my insecurities run races around your straightened lip and the few times I have managed to make you smile make me wanna puke on the floor which brings me full circle to the start of this mess. That even when you are arrogant, which most times you are, but none-the-less you are beautiful, well dressed, dapper and insecure in an enduring, adorable, wanna just cuddle kind of way. And maybe I am just getting a head of myself, maybe you’re just a mess only a professional can clean, just you do that thing where you notice that you’ve noticed me and try to pretend you haven’t but awkwardly reach between my friend and I to hang clothing and force me to acknowledge you first, and I wanna vomit on our toes...see the bloody nausea, I’m just writing about you and I wanna puke.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

the first of the 2014 back-log/not done folder! This poem feels odd to post, it's almost a year old

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tallsquirrelgirl's picture

This The

This The most perfect metaphors and perfectly timed. I'm going on a rwr marathon (because I really don't want to write this essay) and probably won't comment that much more but I just want you to know that I literally love everything you write! <3

*tallsquirrelgirl* she feels in italics and thinks in CAPITALS ~henry james

running_with_rabbits's picture

:) thank you! I have been

:) thank you! I have been havign a crisis of writing these days and really need to hear that more :) <3


also  I feel ya! I am avoiding writing a poem for a class right now :/ 

Much Love


Beatnik1979's picture


is an excellent read...It really elaborates on the awkwardness of the uncertainty of a possible mutual crush...and those that have been there know that feeling that you have so accurately portrayed in this passage. Thanks for sharing! 

running_with_rabbits's picture


yea this poem is a year old so I have trouble connecting toit now, but it was a fun awkward crush!

Much Love