Tanka for a broken bike


My Dimweel gathers

Bunches of dust. I haven't

The funds to fix him

Up to running real smoothly.

Oh, Mister Mechanic, please,

I need to straddle saddle!


Author's Notes/Comments: 

I always felt a certain aversion to haikus and their strict structural requirements, moreover fancying free-verse. Starward seems to have settled my guts on the matter. Now I can spit my own flows out.. WITHOUT A DOUBT!

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S74rw4rd's picture

This is fantastic.  I,

This is a marvelous poem/  I, personally, have never figured out the differemce between Tanka and Kyoka, as they are, essentially, the same form, and the same as you have used here.  But Tanka, like Senryu (which uses the Haiku format), is not restricted to nature poems; Tanka and Senryu can be about anything.  And, in this poem, you have done one of the things that all poetry, but especially the Asian forms, does very well:  a mundane aspect of life is given poetic expression and becomes important, despite those who would merely take it for granted.


And thanks for the mention in the notes section.  I appreciate it very much.


Starward

Pungus's picture

The more ya know

I am glad to have made the mistake to learn the cherished wisdom you pass down the ladder. Thank you.


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