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Fifth Line

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One day I'll get a girl
Who will one day be my world
And for those who say to wait
There is no such thing as fate
I'll love her like no other fool
But I will never say I do
That's because I'm still too young
I need room to have more fun
But don't mistake my mind
Remember to read the fifth line
I will always love her forever
And we can be friends whenever

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last updated 13 April 2011 - 4:03am
©13 April 2011 - 3:47am — Pirateking37
13 April 2011 - 4:17am — palewingedpoetess
palewingedpoetess's picture

Welcome to our Big Little community here!

Keep writing and interact with other poets on here I am sure you will learn so much and evolve even more as a poet, yourself. Keep in mind you write better than I did when I was 16. Don't allow yourself to get too overly frustrated though because as you age and get more life experience you will have a lot of different diverse experiences to pull from. Age and experience combined only improve a writer's talent and skill. I had a teacher years ago who swore by the advice of 'Writing about what you know', 'Read more and read often', and my favorite one 'increase your vocabulary every chance you get'. I took those to heart and I have to admit I didn't turn out too bad. I enjoyed reading your poetry. Share more and enjoy the feedback you get. oh and Try writing a poem that flows but doesn't necessarily rhyme and share it so you can get some feed back on your first attempt. Personally, I think you will really like that option in writing as it's very freeing. Not all poetry is rhyming. That too was the best advice I got in my mid 20's and I still implement it to even this day every now and then so to mix things up. Good luck with your writing and your writing's evolution. Sincerely, Melissa Lundeen.

13 April 2011 - 4:58am — Pirateking37
Pirateking37's picture

Thanks

Thanks for commenting, I was wondering when someone would :D. Thanks I've been told my poems good but to have a professional tell me one of my poems were good is something great ^^. The advice I'll do. But the non-rhyming will be difficult. It's because I'm not very fond of poems that don't rhyme. It has to be really good for me to give credit. But I will give it a try to see if my opinion changes. Once again thank you.

Kris C.

P.S. I know my name is spelled with a K it's awesome like that. XD