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  Fat

  Clark Steven Lupton

  2002



  I may be fat

  But I can swallow a cat

  Can you do that?



  I'm not a jock I'm not a hero

  I look like the number zero

  I do not run I do not diet

  My stomach is hardly ever quiet



  I can't help it I always fart

  I even have a fatty heart

  I'll eat it if it's salty, I'll eat it if it's sweet

  And you bet I'll eat it if it tastes really neat



  I do not have a girlfriend they say it's because I'm big

  A girl does not want a boyfriend who looks like a pig

  But I'm interesting I'm not a bore

  It's just at night I always snore



  I talk to girls I really try

  But girls do not like a big fat guy

  But it's okay when I spend

  It's just that they only think of me as a friend

    

  Because girls do not like guys who are unhealthy

  The exception is if the guy is wealthy

  But I let them go for the thinner guys

  I don't care as long as I have my French fries



  Life is harder when you're plump

  It gets harder for the heart to pump

  I used to be a gorgeous hunk

  And then I started eating all that junk



  In those days my stomach was flat

  Now I have to get used to fat

  I used to exercise and then I stopped

  I stayed out late and bar hopped



  I was no longer on the athletic teams

  And my pants were bursting at the seams

  I changed my pants, my belt and my shirts

  Gaining all that weight really hurts

  

  But being fat is a gift from above

  It really means there's more of me to love

  That is if you can hug my girth

  Which is like a snake trying to hug the Earth