Stuck at 19

Stuck at nineteen

Know what I mean

oldest teenager there is

needs to write this

to share how I feel

and try to deal

with how I am

crazy mixed up Pam

maybe yes maybe no

Time will tell when we know

why Peter Pan is Peter Pam

and oh how lucky I sometimes am

I feel ageless

need to digress

I honestly can't tell you how old I am

gotta do the math the ever calculating Pam

I know I was born in 1961

so have to subtract from this year...this one

Everyone always thinks I am younger

I don't dress the part makes you wonder

someone told me I don't look 44

I replied how does 44 look or act and what 4

I don't care about age and neither should you

People of all ages have lots to teach you

I am a rebel without a cause

or maybe there is one just because

there's a reason for everything

and I feel like sharing

Author's Notes/Comments: 

19 was the magic age for me cuz I was out of high school and got into movie theater and live theater and film work...and cuz my life seemed to start at that point to really click in I am forever there if that makes any sense...even if not...19 is just me...just wanted to share this with you...Now 19 has yet another meaning to me cuz my mom passed away on March 19...the magic number yet again to start anew on the spiritual plane...and I remember having an inner fear of the Ides of March I still don't understand and need to look up sometime soon to see if that makes any sense and the fourth house being the love plane making sense too...I am in my fourth house, mom and dad were in their fourth house, Auntie Lorraine is on her way to her fourth house....just a lot of rambling reasonings...messages here...also the James Dean connection...James Dean passed away on my mom's 13th birthday ..9/30/55 which adds up to four essentially and 3/19 adds up to 13 and then to 4...will wonders never cease? I think too much. My brain hurts...Pam

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Afzal Shauq's picture

your poems are interesting and heart your poetry ..hope you go through my poems and do comments to know if my poetry impress you or not? today is my birthday and friends are wishing me sweet poems and words....

fighter4life's picture

Good poem, I agree with your point.