NECESSARY DEPRIVATION

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JOURNAL #9

welcome to my attic

give me your shaking fingers

feel how my trembling heart palpitates under their

gentle brush

what an erotic beat it makes

touch my chalky cheek

feel how quickly it blisters to bloom

you absorb all my passion for all the involved sakes

the virtual joy of the moment practically fills the

entire room

but it is embarrassment that holds your tender heart

captive in this corner less cove

you find you can not retreat into yourself

( away from me) here

so beneath your anger and bravado instead you defiantly dove

and I find I am once again here all alone

because you chose the gauntlet over me and it broke

when it was foolishly thrown

do you feel afraid now?

you should!

please just leave now and let me cry

as I die just a little more inside

but this time by myself and in quiet peace.........

(written Jan 23, 1993 pm)

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