MOMMY

Folder: 
JOURNAL #33

MOMMY>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

you are my beautiful light

and your life force has guided me

since the day I was born

why nine whole months before even that

I am sure

I can recall a time when you were

the biggest love of my life

and in so,so many ways still even

today you are

and always shall be

you are more than just my mother

your mere presence

represents constant unconditional love

to me

I call you sometimes just to hear you talk

cause only your voice calms me when I am

feeling so low

even if you are just telling me about your day

or what you ate or some show you watched on

television

its because its your voice talking to me

that I begin to feel a little better

I feel I get my best traits from you

many over the years have complimented me

telling me what a pleasant, thoughtful and kind

young woman I am

but really they compliment you

and I tell them, then you should meet my

mother because I am this way due in great part

to her careful raising of me

all my friends growing up

and even now

(just ask Cara or Robin if you don't believe me)

always would say boy, I wish my mom

was like your mom!

and I knew they meant that sincerely

because you were always so cool, funny

and easy going

you probably don't know this

but to me

your face is the most beautiful face in

the world

and it warms my heart

every time I go home

as I see your face more and more in Cindy's

face the more we age

for years I looked forward to giving birth

to a child simply because of something you

once said to me in my early 20s

you once told me that you loved me more than

I loved you because you gave birth to me

and I would not know how much you had loved

me every moment of my life since the day you

held me in your arms

not until I had a baby of my own

that I had given birth to

and as I held that baby

you told me it would then hit me so hard

how so very much you had loved me and done

so all my life

I prefer to call you Mommy as I easily recall

how that word equaled so much love in my young

child's heart

I never want to forget how for many years

of my young life my whole world came to be

shaped and fostered by your caring guidance and

hand

you took very good care of me and I always felt

loved and safe

that's how I learned to love

by taking good care of and doing things for the

person I love as I got that from watching you

when I was growing up

ask Cindy she does the same thing to men she has

loved that was the love we saw growing up so we

love that way

I make the person I love's life easier

as to me that is a prime way to show them I love

them so much as you did that for all us kids

growing up you took very good care of us

you pretty much took any of us no matter how tired

you were when we were kids to the mall, the movies,

to school events and you would go and pick us up

looking back even now, I know there were many times

you didn't really want to do that but you loved us

and wanted to give us what you didn't have

I know now, looking back that my childhood

was the way many children could only wish their

own childhoods had been

I came from what was labeled a broken home

and yet I never felt that way not even once

I have for the most part so very many happy

childhood memories

I've spoken to Cindy and Bill and both feel

like me that we were very lucky to have been

born to such a wonderful, loving mother as you

and Mommy, I do not say these words lightly

or in any way to merely flatter you

I mean them with all my heart just as I know

Cindy and Bill mean what they say when they

too reflect with me on how wonderful of a mother

we were blessed to be given

I figured Mother's Day was the best day to

tell you all these truths I've held in my heart

for so long

I never want you to feel I've felt anything truly

negative where you are concerned

many times when I count my blessings I always thank

God for giving me you as a mother

I use so many of your old sayings and things I heard

Grandma say over the 12 years of my life she lived

many tell me I sound like I was raised on a farm

and I laugh and say no but my mother was and she passed

on all these old sayings and Hill-billy-isms onto me

and just like from your stellar example I know I am honest to a fault and wouldn't cheat anyone for the world as I saw you numerous times take the high road

and do the right thing in situations such as those

your best lessons to us were your examples of how to

behave and act and live as a responsible adult

so, On this Mother's Day I want to not only tell you

how so very much I love you but also thank you for

making me the good hearted woman I am today

you asked me where I got my generosity from

and to a degree I got it from you and I took it just

a bit farther as I told you on the phone not long

ago I live by the golden rule

in many situations I put myself in the less fortunate

person's circumstances and think if I was in that situation I would hope someone kind and helpful would

come along and help me and that is then what I do for

that person, whatever I can without putting my own self

in harm's way

it was you in my childhood who laid that foundation

in me and your careful raising of me was the

strong building blocks for who I was to become as

an adult woman

the main one that helps me in my line of work today is

always to smile and be kind and attentive to those whom

I do not know so well but come into contact with me

daily

I once read the best thing we can do as people is let God love others through us and that is what I try very

hard to do and being so fallibly human like I am

I know I don't always succeed in my attempts

but my journey's path is to try

and I first stepped onto that path so many years

ago starting in many instances with your own

unspoken example of goodness..............

I love you with all my heart Mommy! I'm glad you

like the stove happy Mother's day and thank you for

always being there for me when I need you..........



                                 hugs and love

                                   Melissa
































Author's Notes/Comments: 

written for my Mother for Mother's day this year in 2008. It started out as a poem but ended up pretty much being mostly no so poetic thoughts or rather non poetry form like thoughts but I called it a poem anyway as that is how it started out originally being)

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