Father and Son

Like father like son is what they say,
Though a life to live, I must find my own way.
Your footsteps lead to a life of pain,
Breaking me down until nothing will remain.
Through your mistakes I must better myself,
Your life a guide placed apon an empty shelf.
A better man I am and shall forever be,
A branch broken astray from this family tree.
You have shown me what I never want to become,
The greatest lesson a father could teach to some.
Raised to hate, though now things change,
Trying to let you in, a feeling so strange.
Claim me as your son you continue to try,
Though after all these years apart, why?
Its to late to fix what was broken,
The years have pushed away your own kin.
What was lost can never be once again found,
Inside my screams are the only silent sound.
Despite my hate I know its not right,
With you I need to try, surrender this internal fight.
Show you the man I am, and for which I will be known,
To late is it for your love to be shown.
A friendship we could build, though nothing more,
For the scar left apon my heart will forever remain sore.

View nkorinko's Full Portfolio
tags:
MARGOT's picture

forgiveness

your poem bought to me, some old memories. i am not here to discuss it or make a judgement over it, my only reason i decided to post this is:

i can read through your words what u are trying to get out off your chest, such as my favorite part of it:

Despite my hate I know its not right,
With you I need to try, surrender this internal fight.
Show you the man I am, and for which I will be known,

this line simply touch me, because i lost my father when i was 19, despise too, i bareally saw him, i left him at 10 years old, i spend many years claiming the day of his passing will be a day of celebration.

few days after i found out he had died at 42, , i did not celebrate, well, i got absolutly hammer on booze and to my surprise took a pen and wrote to him a poem, probably the only poem i have and will never show to anyone but i can tell you one single line in it, and it was?:

despise all the things you did to me, dad , i want you to know i love you.

i woke up the next day with a horrenduous hangover but from that day on, i have never felt anger, hate or anything negative toward him, i guess that night i learn, FORGIVENESS.

by only regret we never had a propert conversation, EVER.

except for this poem i wrote to him.

don`t make the same mistake.

Herve
 


Visual poet/ Libertine lost in a labyrinth of complexities, methaphors, searching for the essence/ Ink of life/ death to spell my syphilistic words on the page/ screen.       

nkorinko's picture

Im sorry to hear of your

Im sorry to hear of your father. I often find myself wondering if I'll ever be able to make peace with mine before his day comes. Part of my really wants to but theres another part of me that feels I dont owe him the relationship he wants from me. Its a complex situation as it would be for anyone with similiar issues.


The only problem with the story carved on your chest, is its hard to read when your missing your ribs..

MARGOT's picture

IT IS ABOUT FREE URSELF.

I  am sorry if i feel i am trepassing something so personnal,but i guess u will have not posted it this if you felt no ready to discuss it, to me, it show the oppossite ,  that it is what actually make me sad to see YOUR PAIN, 

 in u last poem, u speak about religions and wars etc, but what remain in my mind from it, is, your last words, read them again, how can in the name of religion, or whatever else, commit crime, and inflict pains to one and another, if we cannot even, find the strenght and courrage to stop the war, which happens to our heart, with our own blood and flesh.

i made the mistake with my dad, i spend 10 years no speaking to my mum, i am lucky, she is still here now and yes, my relationship with her is not and far from easy but as time goes, it get better, specially, as i found out, 1 year ago, i was diagnosed with a terminal illness if the chemotheraphy don`t work.

please don`t think, i am trying to tell you what to do, i am simply telling you my own experience, do whatever u wish with it, as a matter of fact, i understand u poems so MUCH, I HAVE BEEN THERE  too, but it took me a long time to realise, i am also, human and made my fair share of pains , to others, as u say, which help me to understand others peoples mistakes ( and beleive me, my father did almost pretty much the worse thing u can do to a child)....

whatever u choose to do, don`t beat urself up for it,  u would have done what u heart felt. H


Visual poet/ Libertine lost in a labyrinth of complexities, methaphors, searching for the essence/ Ink of life/ death to spell my syphilistic words on the page/ screen.       

nkorinko's picture

Which poem are you talking

Which poem are you talking about?

 

Yea..Im now 22 and just my father for the first time. Were trying to build a relationship but I have alot of built of anger towards him I have to work on so it causes alot of friction between us. I know I should be mature and give things a chance and I am trying to, but its hard to just forget an entire life time of anger over night. Though I am sorry to ehar about your condition, that is most unfortunate.  As for understanding I will mistakes...that is something I understand very well. Though its sometimes because some mistakes have bigger consequences than others. Alot of times, there is no going back to fix them.


The only problem with the story carved on your chest, is its hard to read when your missing your ribs..