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Lovers Dance*Published*Meeting of the Minds Journal*
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Published Pieces Lovers entwined in a mystical dance
their only music is the rhythm of their hearts
Beads of sweat shinning
like peices of broken glass
reflecting the lust being satisfied
Candles are lit around the room
burning much like the desire in their bodies
Images of the lovers are projected
as shadows on the wall
a eloquent display of their ballet.
That makes me melt.
Very descriptive. Great imagery. The word broken in reference to glass reflecting seems misplaced. It's too sharp and painful. although there are not a lot of soft reflective surfaces. I don't think it's neccesary to use the line with the candles. It's implied by the shadows on the wall. Maybe they are dim shadows. overall good poem. a little short for my taste but still good.