It's Just the Alcohol Talkin'

Folder: 
Comedy Theater

I'm not trying to sound all rude, ignorant and negative

but I don't want to be here even though I promised relatives

the annual church cookout is having another showcase

I need a bulletproof wallet like my nigga Ghostface

cuz I could've sworn I saw a collection plate go across the table

they askin for the same amount I pay with for cable

but what's the meaning of that? I thought we just eat at cookouts

Aw damn, here comes Nate...better be on the lookout

this nigga's breath stink so bad, his teeth duck everytime he speaks

got the nerve to talk H's:Hey...hello, how are you, and who the hell turned up the heat?

I held my nose and spoke my piece and then I kept it movin

just when I thought it was over, why did I bump into Susan?

Susan will screw anything with 3 legs

got a half dozen kids and fertile eggs

this bedhoppin behavior she got it all mastered

come to think of it, her oldest son looks like the pastor *burp

And speaking of which, this mofo owes me like 100 bucks

swindled me and my cousin when we was down on our luck

now he's actin like a duck, got the urge to mention blackmail

don't think I forgot about that "crack sale"

C'mon...don't shush me; cuz we're all adults here

I'm having fun with this, plus I'm on my 5th can of beer

After all, I got dragged here so tell me who's the blame

cuz you know I would've been home watchin the game

Hold up! Who's this chick right here in the pink?

caught her bending over earlier, I didn't for once wink

You mean to tell me that's Miss Mabel's daughter Tammy?

Oh man, I'd like to jump in them panties..... *burp

No disrespect, Miss Mabel, your daughter is full of clarity

I didn't know juicy-booty ran in the family

Okay lemme leave this table cuz Miss Mabel looks pissed

I just gave the woman a compliment, that wasn't no diss

she would know the difference if she knew how to keep a man

her moustache is thicker than mine, thicker than any mans *burp

well here comes Elijah, ice grillin me like I'm gonna budge

What's up with you, cuz? You still holdin on to that 10 year grudge

You still mad cuz I tapped your girl while you were out doing dirt

You wanted me to lie and tell her you was at work

shorty knew your whole steez before she even offered me the ass

and I won't front...she was too hot to pass

Oh now you wanna thump cuz I just pinched a nerve

call me evil or unbelievable, I'm not really concerned

now I see Brother David scarfing down a corn on the cob

got no home training....what a big ass slob *burp

Oh my God.....I see mobs of folks grillin ME down

brandishing steak knives and sticks to crack my crown

I'm getting all this attention from those who I offended

but can I finish my beer before I'm apprehended?  

I guess that means no.......so call me a dead man walkin

pardon my behavior, but it was just the alcohol talking......





texted

Aug. 20, 2004


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This is one of myu funniest offerings to date. Check it out.