I’m not gonna be a stalker.

It’s too much work

& too much effort.

I’m certainly too lazy

to ever be a stalker.


I know everyone thinks

stalking is all fun and games

But it’s not as glamorous 

as it looks on television.


You follow them around

to uninteresting places

like beauty salons

and cosmetic stores;

one more middle school 

soccer match will 

push you one toke over the line.


They never go to the right bars

or the right restaurants

or concerts.


You end up living someone else’s life

instead of your own.

It’s hard to live your own life

if you’re stuck

endlessly hounding someone

through mind numbing

and soul killing ennui

they call their life.


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allets's picture

I'd Make An Awful Stalker

Guilt would over take me and I'd surrender and apologize for being a voyeur. Like you, life is your own to watch and it's far more than enough. I heard: One toke over the line, sweet Jesus! Amen - slc



georgeschaefer's picture

Thanks, I was trying to point

Thanks, I was trying to point out how pathetic stalking can be.  I wanted light hearted humor, though, because there is a degree of mental illness involved.