Author Information
Amethyst
Folder:
Poems Lift me up
On Heaven’s wings
To the place I want to see
To be
Just a dream
Midsummer in autumn lyes your body with a note beside
Fourteen must have struck a cord on you
As did the note reply;
You aren’t shocked
And I’m not surprised
I hate the world today so I figured hell why not just go away?
You told me all the time how you were going to do it too
Spread your arms out wide
Think of Nothing
Close your eyes
Feel yourself floating,
Mind rid of troubles,
Your body’s an empty shell,
You stopped breathing and I believed you
But I wasn’t born to follow
Red rose petals fell a scent of rain
You took for granted that black swans never will forget carved in stone bared the name of the one whom took it all away for something more worth it than what it was before.
Hey Tara!
This poem rocks! I have a few fave lines:
"Midsummer in autumn lyes your body with a note beside
Fourteen must have struck a cord on you"
and
"Red rose petals fell a scent of rain
You took for granted that black swans never will forget carved in stone"
Points of constructive criticism:
The last two lines could be divided up for smoother reading and it should be "who" not "whom". That's all for now! Take care and keep writing ;)
I really liked this one, I'd go more into detail but I have to leave now, thanks for the comment on my poem. Haha, it was uh, one of my least favourites however...Haha.
"Midsummer in autumn lyes your body with a note beside
Fourteen must have struck a cord on you
As did the note reply;
You aren’t shocked
And I’m not surprised"
I liked this best.