The Silence of This Room

My mind is drifting up past the canopy of truth,

I hear your voice a calling.

The fire light is bright in the murmur of the room,

I see your soft eyes smiling.



If I could only have you here

to steal some time from you.

Just one answer to my prayers

in the silence of this room.



The light is growing bright in the shadows of my head,

my smoke is slowly lifting.

I see again between the flames upon the wall,

the look of love you send me.



If you could only know I care

and you were lonely too,

I'd be so happy with you here

in the silence of this room.



The fire is dying now, the light is growing dim

the ghost of you is drifting.

My evening drink spills upon my whiskered chin,

my mind is slowly quitting.



But if I could only have you here

to breathe a sigh or two,

it would'nt be so lonely

in the silence of this room.

View eltrue's Full Portfolio
tags:
Amanda Campbell's picture

I rarely ever comment on other people's writing but I read alot of your work and it is all amazing. I really liked this poem though it is personal and well written. You are an excellent writer.

Raine Meadows's picture

Well, it doesn't look as if you're in need of encouragement; you have several positive critiques for this piece alone. So I'm just one of the multitude who thinks this is a great poem. I was scrolling down through the list of your work, waiting to find one that called out to me. I have a thing with titles--they have to be intriguing or I just won't read it. Anyway, I passed this poem and it didn't exactly call out; it sort of whispered. Maybe I've just done too many hallucinogens. Anyway, this really is great, though I can tell you've heard that a million times. Thanks.

Melvin Lee's picture

Ok..i know i have been here before... but i purposely chose to read this again, and like the first time, is compelled to comment on it... Definitely a gem of imagery...the lonely persona is clearly painted here. Another thing i notice now...the significance of the first stanza...with the last 2. 'The fire is dying now, the light is growing dim the ghost of you is drifting. My evening drink spills upon my whiskered chin, my mind is slowly quitting. But if I could only have you here to breathe a sigh or two, it would'nt be so lonely in the silence of this room.' Great contrast....great effect!!! Wonderful, Eric. Smilesz.~!!!

Laurie  Lane's picture

Oh I have been here more time than I would like to remember. So sad when loneliness seems to consume you. For the yearn of an ex-lover is so heart draining. Nice poem.

Melvin Lee's picture

Sadness within the lines indeed...and a deep sense of loneliness pervades... Great lyrical power, Eric...i always admire how u phrase your words. Smilesz.

Kirstie's picture

Wow, Eric! This is a beautiful poem!

Shiwei Yeo's picture

i felt very sad when i read this ... nonetheless it is beautifully expressed

Shiwei Yeo's picture

i felt very sad when i read this ... nonetheless it is beautifully expressed

Misty Lawson's picture

Eric, G'day.. Wow! that's very beautiful piece you've created. The wonderful feelings that flow freely is like music to my ears.If only we could set free the truth then this world that were living will be like heaven.. misty_lawson

Miranda Rae's picture

Eric, Another vivid, beautiful piece from you. I'm with JM on this one; the title is fabulous.

J M's picture

beautiful title!!!!

J M's picture

beautiful title!!!!

J M's picture

beautiful title!!!!

J M's picture

beautiful title!!!!