It is what it is

Youthful thoughts of glory desire to serve
Traded those hopes for sleepless nights
memories good and bad    
                                      mud and blood    
                                                              searing sand

Brothers for life

Stories abound with great deeds 
never with seeing brothers bleed
                              brothers break 
                              brothers lost, but
                                                          always on the mind

Loved ones see the change...  Wayward contrary aimless

for all that we have knowing the cost      Tragic/Victory?

we tell ourselves... I told myself 
we can't have one without the other 
Question: Can we have one without the other?

Always censoring our words
proud to have served 
never revealing  unheard

Always and only the good 

Others we helped

Never the personal defeats    Losses    
demons that haunt whispering taunt 

Funny in my mind is where I keep this
                                                            don't let it out 
                                                            not with a word
                                                            not with a tear
                                                            not with a shout

To speak would be weak
a man isn't a man if he's weak
rub some dirt on it walk it off
suck it up buttercup

Male macho BS you say

No one wants to know
handshake pat on the back 
empty gesture

Writing this down is bad enough
if someone knew; truly knew
What was seen, heard, 

would they? 
could they?

look you in the eye 

or would it be "That poor guy"
the thought of that infuriates me

I have training to complete the mission
I have training to intervene at work
I have training to write the report 

There is no training for what you carry home

Memories you have  
Branded in your mind
Blistered on your soul

blood an inch deep
                              on the tile

The look  
              as someone dies

on their face
                              In their eye

Beaten, bruised, broken 
Stabbed, laceration, protrusion 
Overdose, vomit, purplish hue
Shot, bubbling, crater  
I must say the worst look was seared stained in the eye of a suicide 

"The Oh God what have I done" 

as we cut him down body still twitching, fighting, losing 
    unable to take it back

I have seen the seething contempt 
          smelled the rotting distain
          heard the dripping disgust 
                                                    people have for one another
I pray there's enough Hope for them all

I started to open up once
seen that look in their eye

I changed gears, 
                          told a joke
                                          let it go, 
                                                      flashed a smile

It's mine to carry

I probably shouldn't be whining

The smartest thing I ever said:
                                                Hey please do me a favor?
                                                          Don't let me be me. 






View czjustanemptyhead's Full Portfolio
Dont_punch_grandpa's picture

That's really good dude, the

That's really good dude, the end you killed it, just killed props man good work here.

"Some people die at 25 but buried at 75" Benjamin Franklin 

czjustanemptyhead's picture

Thanks man, I am glad you

Thanks man, I am glad you enjoyed it