i can't stand the way that i cry over such stupid things, even if i only cry once in a while.
i can't stand the fact that even though i'm a hateful bitch, i'm one of the nicest people i know.
i can't stand the feelings i get when i'm confused and have no confidence in myself, even though it's just me.
i hate the reasons that i torture myself just so i can remind myself of why it is i am who i am.
these facts all collaborate in my brain, and they hurt me so bad to bring up the reasons i run away.
i hate the way i smile, even when i want to cry... just because i'm afraid to let others see me as week.
it doesn't make any sense for me to be so weak, and yet seem so strong.
i feel like a pathological liar who cannot stop themselves from ruining their own lives.
i'm just a psychosematic nerd who hates herself so much that she would torture herself mentally to make the pain fade away.
but i can't believe that i am who i am, and that scares me that all of this negetivity still allows for this positiveness.
and im still confused inside.... i'm only just trying to hide it... which sucks.
alright, i give up... i'm too tired to complain, and i'm too tired to try.
it all seems like nothingness right now, with a horrible dose of apathy to knock me off my feet.
good night.
it's definitely ranty .. and has that angry flow of words.. but i'm glad for you that you were able to write something out of it. ^_^