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oh no! what if she thinks it's all in my head?



that i've made these things up?



that nothing really happened?



what if she doesn't believe me?



and the 'stories' i've told?



w/ all my over explaining,



what if she stops and  thinks 'well,i dunno'?



'maybe this girl, that i love and adore,



has a few screws loose, and no nails on the floor board"?



what if she t thinks it's not him at all?



that i've played games alone,



and matters been solved in one measly phone call?



but she isn't there, and what can i do?



2 convince my best friend, and prompt her 2 say'i know it wasn't just you'



'i know how u feel,i understand what u mean, you've put a lot on yourself, in addition 2 him'



'i ;m ur best friend, u know that i care,i understand the longing, when he isn't always there'



'i'll help u thru this, w/o a complaint, ur a childish nymph, but  don't force the restraint'



she wants 2 here the stories, the ones that i've told, yet she says that i've claimed things i haven't, and words i speak, they're all old



if she could understand every second i feel, but what the use in trying when she'll say 'it's not real'?



she doesn't understand the looks and implications, how things change like water, there forms make trans4mayshions



if it wasn't important 2 me, i'd never tell her so, i'd never speak i word that i thought she didn't already know



i understand her point of things, and i know that i reiterate, i know that i'm redundant, and that's all she has 2 do w/ it



b/c she isn't close, b/c she isn't near, i tell all details of my life, i thought shed want 2 hear



i thought she'd understand the progress and the knot, that though i know i'm not in love, what do u call the feeling that won't stop?



i'm not saying he's it, my fanily and  finteo  but he's what now and present, even if he doesn't know



if i said i was madly in love, i meant the way i am w/ other things,i don't think of having his child, wedding nights or rings



so i don't really like the way that u say i am, you've got a bit of a misunderstanding of how i feel 4 him



though i have 2 admit a lot of what u say is true,  but the things u still misunderstand, how do i clarify them 2 u?