Androgyny Does Not Mean Bisexuality!

Being a male liberal feminist makes me appear the most ludicrous in the eyes of some outsiders.  But I can completely understand from their perspective so I don't hold anything against them.  Everyone is entitled to his or her opinion.  However, what I don't tolerate is to be FUCKING JUDGED MISLEADINGLY because of my beliefs.

Early this morning this guy I barely know walks up and makes these horrendous, derisive jokes about me.  I'm a feminist — a person who believes in sexual equality — and to him that must allude to the fact that I'm bisexual.  Or possibly a fag!!!  I was so fucking pissed off.  SHIT!  To be made the fool for everyone to point their fingers at and be the object of entertainment.  And frankly it hurt.  But you know what?  I've kept a stiff upper lip, looked that man in the eye, and simply nodded no.  Then I walked away.

You see, my grandmother used to give me good advice when I was a little kid.  There's this saying she kept telling me that goes:

"Whoeverso angers you, has conquered you."

I could've ended with a belligerent argument with that man.  Or worse, literally tear those eyes out from his face.  Yet I know I'm better than that.  I would never condescend to his level.

Despite that he may have gained some popularity with that little stunt he pulled off, I'm the one who remains victorious because I know who I am and who I want to be as a person.  I can control myself.  But what about you fool?  To make me the laughing stock, to make people hurt is that who you want to be?  If so, then I honestly pity you...

Androgyny doesn't mean bisexuality.  To me it means being human.  Gender — whether masculine or feminine — is merely spare parts we use to define ourselves.  And I learned from a sociology instructor of mine, Professor Gottfried, she said that androgyny means acting as a responsible adult because we can not only get along better in society with others but also to be more of yourself and not what a pre-given definition of gender should grant you to be.  We can understand others easier male or female; to build stronger "human" relationships with others.

So what if I'm aberrant?  Because I'm a feminist?  I love who I am and I respect who I am.  Even if I do appear the fool on the stage we call Life, the world can never destroy who I want to be.

And yes.  I am androgynous.  I can be strong and courageous (something masculine) in addition to being sympathetic, caring, and loving to others (something feminine).  If people have a problem with it being both masculine and feminine then fuck off.  At least I found my place.  I know myself.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This happened today.  Pretty much self-explanatory.  Nothing more to explain.

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trivking64's picture

Bryan...I'm terribly sorry that I never came by sooner and checked out your work --- you're really a talented poet and I enjoyed reading your poetry very much.
You and I also share many common interests and I'm certain that we could have many interesting conversations.


Karyn Indursky's picture

Thanks for word of the day. I've never heard that word before, but not that I have I won't have any misconceptions. I don't think you're gay or bi-sexual. You haven't said anything that would make you appear that way. I also try not to judge people by stereotypes. If I'm going to have an opinion of you it's going to be based on what you've shown me and what you've said to me. Unless you come out and tell me that you're gay or bi, I'm going to assume you're straight. Well, there are some exceptions to that rule like if you cross dress or I see you holding another man's hand or you're kissing another guy or something. Anyway, good write and thanks for sharing this with me. HUGS.

Bryan Adam Tomimbang's picture

wasn't sure what androgyny was but glad you explained and I agree with you... - Ruth Lovejoy

Alan Cheng's picture

I really and truly understand what you mean by these things that you said here, and I can understand that being judged in the most misunderstanding way is just so irritating. I know that I'd be totally irritated if I was suddenly misunderstood like that, but for me, if you've read the "Abomination" poem that I wrote and posted up yesterday, you should know what I mean when I mention the identity word in there. I'm glad to know that you are feminist who is a person that believes in sexual equality no matter what the person is, or at least I think that's what it also means, right? I don't want to misunderstand you by what it means in what you wrote, and I know that it would definitely suck if I did. Sorry if I might've misunderstood you. If so, I didn't mean to do that. Anyways, yeah, I'm really glad that you're a feminist and is a person who believes in sexual equality, and that's mostly what the poem, "Abomination", is about, if you know what I mean.