Judgement depression selfharm suicde

Depression, my frightened child.




Depression my frightened child 


    Depression, you cling to me like a frightened child clings to it's mothers side who is afraid of the dark , you never leave me , you must feel terrified. 

     Sometimes  The lights come on and you feel less scared,  the lights always seem rather dim than bright , then they always turn back off at the end of the night , your grip around me tightens up once again leaving us lay in bed all day afraid of what lives under my bed during the day and night , so you hold me down tight.

      When we leave the room you put on a mask and drag your heavy legs behind me you keep a firm grip on the him of my shirt so you don't get lost in the crowd . Sometimes you like to play , you play as a character whom you  call anxiety this character always hurries us back home to hide where are you spooned m so you don't get lost in the crowd. Sometimes you like to play you play as a character and you call anxiety who always makes us hurry back home Where you can cling to me once again whispering thoughts of sucide and self harm into my mind . " we won't be able to hurt this way , its for the best" you sing to me . water spills over the tub , quickly turning red , spreading like spilled milk . "it's better this way " echos through my mind as I sway in the tub , my vision becomes dark and you no longer cling to me , depression my sweet frightened child .



sorry this is my first time writing , I wrote this when I was I having thoughts of self harm and used writing to calm my self !



I sit in the room my door locked an out of nowhere they start "Haily come play" I start to shake and my arms itch burn and tingle they start up again "hunny your day was bad one little cut won't hurt we miss your skin" I scream at them "NO STOP IT I DON'T NEED YOU AMYMORE!" they laugh at me taunting me "don't need us? Your crazy this is coming from the girl who used to play with us everyday a cut here and there sometimes twice you need us!" I start to cry and shake unable to control my breathing 
A nock on the door and my aunts voice "Haily hunny are you okay?" I can barley talk over there voices "y-yes" I choke out then crawl out of bed to get ready for the next day. 
I sit in school laughing and joking with my friends when they start "did you hear that? They hate you out here their laughing at you. Your worthless come play with me" I start to shake and look around and relies yes they hate me and stop talking for the rest of the day my friends notice "Haily are you okay?" I smile and laugh softly "I'm fine guys don't worry about me" they don't see the pain behind my eyes and can't see through my lies.. It's so hard out here I need my voices to live...
I lay in bed that night and they start again "Haily come play" I break down into tears and reach for my blade " yes yes of corse il play I need you!" I cut deep into my skin and stop crying. 
The next day everyone ask "Haily are you okay?" I smile and laugh "guys no I'm not I cry myself to sleep and can barely talk without crying" they laugh "your so funny Haily!" I stare at them.. Can they not see? I pull down my sleeve as the voices start to laugh at me again and I close my eyes fast. 
"please stop."

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Dolly Dear


Dolly Dear

Clenched fists

Red eyes

Stinging from

Salty tears


Am I


Who wants this mistake?

A flawed doll,

Supposed to be a porcelain beauty

Who wants a porcelain beauty?


Love dies

Over time

First, sweethearts

Suddenly, enemies

But for me

I don’t have to worry about losing my love


It will never come to me