cuz I deserve this

I Dont Want To Be Me


I can’t keep myself from the blame game. Keep hearing everyone whispering my name. The noise is louder than my screams. Trying to reach you, please. Here I am naked and barely breathing. Can you just try to see me?? 


So hard to stay away from the negative. And I’ve ran out of pieces of me I can give. People saying that I need to live. For my kids. For my husband. You don’t get how hard it’s been. To pick myself up and smile again. 


Someone is whispering, “She’s a whore”. Could that be him knocking at my door? I am more broken than I’ve ever been before. I just can’t take anymore. Don’t pretend that you need me when you only want more. 


The darkness wraps around me. His hands are on my body. But I can’t see anything. Something in me screaming. Let me out of here I’m bleeding. Everyone around me glaring, laughing, cuz I deserve this, I was asking. 


Please, if no one can see me why am I here??? I’m running out of reasons to care. 

If I am what you say then why should I stay? Can I make it another day? 

Looking at my reflection. All I see are imperfections. 


No I don’t want to be me. 

I don’t want to be me. 

His hands are on my body. 

I don’t want to see. 

Please just leave me be. 


I don’t want to be me. 

Just close the door. 

Leave like everyone else before. 

I don’t want to be me.