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The alcohol would never bring me peace;

I could drink, drink and drink

and never feel any different;

still feel suffocated by that fear,

which never leaves the body

I am afraid, always afraid

I never feel safe where ever I go

There is always a feeling of something

bad about to happen, of something regretable

This terror about to transpire;

the doom which has yet to sink me comes

Terror of not making it,

feeliing paralyzed in the doubt

causes me to procrastinate 

the choices at hand,

walking in intense slow motion

of  failure

being ripped apart by the mental pain,

which causes the heart to beat

The thoughts in my head

   are getting worse.

They are taking over my life,

   changing the way I deal with things,

   and my ability to handle what is given.

I struggle daily

   to push through the day

   without being attacked with panic.

Fear settles within you;

   its claws are set in your skin.

You cannot escape fear,

   it’s always with you.

I cannot begin to explain

   what it’s like to live this way.

My head is pressured

   with worried thoughts.

I have shaky footsteps

   and weak grasps.

My life shattered like glass.

My eyes dripping like rain.

 Fear engulfing my brain.

So helpless am I in your arms
can't even resist the faintest of your smiles
or the slightest of your touches
My heart has gone gaga over you
yet i know pretty well I can never have you
It sucks alot love,
even the slightest of your jokes humour me

Every mmorning you put a smile on my face
so alike are we yet so different
I love you but you love someone else
wished you ask'd me to marry you
but tis almost mpossible
you stirred up storms of passion hidden
I can contain myself nolonger when in your arms
Such a troublemaker and helpless am i
so much mess you have left
that I can never clean up

I woke up in a dream today...

There you were, standing on the staircase

I gazed upon your beauty

You had that focused look upon your gorgeous face

I could not concentrate.

I'm sure you didn't notice me

I tried to be discreet

For it is only after our exam did we speak and smile and meet.

I was jubilant on my way home

I couldn't help but smile in my car

'Coz I knew I would see you at the next exam...

and the next exam wasn't very far.

Will I ever be yours?

Will you ever be mine?

Our paths crossing was no accident

It was simply our fate intertwined.

If only I had somewhere to begin

An endless description of a goddess

Her eyes, portals to other dimensions

Hair that cloaks her in mystical allure

That gorgeously blent sable complexion

All but a mix of eternal beauty

However afraid I am to approach

At the risk of shattering such a sight

Possibly losing what I consider

The epitome of the word flawless

Surreptitious are my emotions

Concealed, hidden deep within my person

Fearful of emergence and exposure

Unaware of any consequences

Wrought by the recklessness of my actions

Therefore she remains just out of arm’s reach

Taunting and tempting to pull her closer

Alas I must refrain and keep myself at bay

All whilst she mocks me, and glares with disdain