Catatonia:
Paralyzed by
fear
Frozen in a moment
of trauma
The body seizes
up
The heart beats fast:
Panic
Mentally exhausted of
the fear
Catatonia sets in
Struggle to make a move;
the engine doesnt want to start
Consumed by the fear
Catatonic
Frozen rock sold,
impaled by grief
Don't want to live
dont want to die
Stare into space:
trapped in the body,
trapped in the mind,
The alcohol would never bring me peace;
I could drink, drink and drink
and never feel any different;
still feel suffocated by that fear,
which never leaves the body
I am afraid, always afraid
I never feel safe where ever I go
There is always a feeling of something
bad about to happen, of something regretable
This terror about to transpire;
the doom which has yet to sink me comes
Terror of not making it,
feeliing paralyzed in the doubt
causes me to procrastinate
the choices at hand,
walking in intense slow motion
of failure
being ripped apart by the mental pain,
which causes the heart to beat
The thoughts in my head
are getting worse.
They are taking over my life,
changing the way I deal with things,
and my ability to handle what is given.
I struggle daily
to push through the day
without being attacked with panic.
Fear settles within you;
its claws are set in your skin.
You cannot escape fear,
it’s always with you.
I cannot begin to explain
what it’s like to live this way.
My head is pressured
with worried thoughts.
I have shaky footsteps
and weak grasps.
My life shattered like glass.
My eyes dripping like rain.
Fear engulfing my brain.
So helpless am I in your arms
can't even resist the faintest of your smiles
or the slightest of your touches
My heart has gone gaga over you
yet i know pretty well I can never have you
It sucks alot love,
even the slightest of your jokes humour me
Every mmorning you put a smile on my face
so alike are we yet so different
I love you but you love someone else
wished you ask'd me to marry you
but tis almost mpossible
you stirred up storms of passion hidden
I can contain myself nolonger when in your arms
Such a troublemaker and helpless am i
so much mess you have left
that I can never clean up
I woke up in a dream today...
There you were, standing on the staircase
I gazed upon your beauty
You had that focused look upon your gorgeous face
I could not concentrate.
I'm sure you didn't notice me
I tried to be discreet
For it is only after our exam did we speak and smile and meet.
I was jubilant on my way home
I couldn't help but smile in my car
'Coz I knew I would see you at the next exam...
and the next exam wasn't very far.
Will I ever be yours?
Will you ever be mine?
Our paths crossing was no accident
It was simply our fate intertwined.