assuming and observing

3 replies [Last post]
uninspired's picture
Offline
Joined: 2017/12/20

Hi I'm uninspired, I just wanted to have a place to freely write and have a place where people can freely write. I mostly write about emotions in general; mine or others that i have come across. I have a lot of social anxiety so my writing is my outlet i guess you can say. I can't express my self properly so my parents, friends, and therapist say so i on the outside i can come across very dry and apathetic. Any enough of that be free to wrtite anything you want!

 

Sometimes I wish Earth was flat.

I’d walk for day’s to reach the end.

Even if it took me years to find the edge, even if it took me till the day before I die to get there I’d walk day and night.

And once I get to the edge I’d sit there till sun set; staring at whatever the edge of the world looks like and the sun setting and think just as the day turns to night I’d say “I’ve walked day and night to get here, I’m tired it’s time for me to rest.” And I’d walk off the edge feeling no regret. Because as I was walking to my destination I would experience so many things. My life experience was spent traveling across the world; meeting people, eating different things, adventuring and at the end it was all fulfilled by the sun set which I longed for. Being alone with my thoughts one last time feeling the energy of the earth fill my body, warming me than leaving with a cold chill as it leaves when the day turned to night. Now I’m falling endlessly to who knows where. I will feel no regret as my mind and bodies wishes were fulfilled.

And this is why I wish the Earth was flat.


BY:Marisa Chau

To Be Uninspired.

uninspired's picture
Offline
Joined: 2017/12/20
The silence she keeps… The

The silence she keeps…


The silence she keeps when she's in a bathroom stall on the floor…


The silence she keeps when she's on that floor with her headphones over her ears; music full blast, trying to keep out the voices…


The silence she keeps while she cries and covers her mouth with both hands trying desperately to keep the silence she tries so hard to maintain…


The silence she keeps, now becoming harder to bare; becoming a burden…


The silence she keeps she can no longer stand; trying hard to break free of her silent cries for help; no words coming out…


The silence she keeps breaking her down piece by piece; fighting to fight what she can't say and what she fears no one will hear…  


The silence keeps now drowning her; suffocating, not knowing how to swim…

The silence she keeps, keeping her in her ´comfort zone´  thinking “since my words are silent, they mustn't  hear me”...


The silence she keeps never fading…


The silence she keeps still in a bathroom stall on the floor…


The silence she keeps when she still on that floor with her headphones over her ears; music full blast, trying to keep out the voices…


The silence she keeps still while she cries and covers her mouth still trying desperately to keep the silence she tries so hard to maintain…


The silence she KEPT now drowned her into a deep dark abuis; a sound that never left her, not a single one…

 

BY:Marisa Chau


To Be Uninspired.

uninspired's picture
Offline
Joined: 2017/12/20
I live by a life of simple

I live by a life of simple rules… Red, yellow, green…

If I’m in control of situation and it seems safe it’s considered green (go)

If I’m not sure of a situation and uncertain of the outcome its yellow (proceed with caution).

If I know the situation is dangerous it’s red (stop, run away)

Rules:

  • Always stay 5 feet away

  • Never break the 5 feet rule

  • Don’t talk to ‘x’

  • Only look

  • Last DON’T BREAK 5 FEET!!!

 

 

 

5 feet.

Always 5 feet behind you.

A perfect distance for me and you.

Me always behind you; your back looking at me, my always eyes on your back

Never too close never too far.

Scared to get to get to close, but afraid stay away

My eyes always watching you from our 5 feet distance; never to be seen


Today ‘x’ talked to me, ‘x’ came up to me. What do i do the 5 feet rule was broken. What do i do?! I have to keep my distance. It’s okay I’ll keep my rules; calm down nothing is wrong 5 feet just wasn’t enough I’ll make it 7 feet now.

New rules:

  • Distance is now 7 feet

  • Don’t break 7 feet

  • Only look

  • No talking

  • No touching

 


7 feet


Looking at your back; my eyes your back, your back my eyes

It’s alright like this

The distance is perfect

You are perfect


I have no desire to talk nor touch you

I just want to look from a distance…


Observing, watching, looking; perfect

In reality I know someone like me is no match for you.


Distance is  a wonderful thing, it can make relationships grow or destroy everything you put in what you thought you had with that person; love is nothing; watching from the sidelines is the most comfortable. You don’t get hurt, and you get to see the one you love happy.


This distance is now somehow getting smaller

why ?! WHY!?

You  keep coming closer; ruining everything

7 feet turning into 4 feet

You,

Closer,

Closer,

STOP.

Anxious; the anxiety is building up, yellow now turning to red.


Did you notice my eyes on your back?

Was the 5 to 7 feet distance not enough, maybe i should make it 20 feet; no I can’t bare the thought of being that far from you.


NO 4 feet now to 2 feet Stop coming closer!!!

I don’t want you to see me. I just wanted to see you. I just wanted to be in the shadows on the sidelines; watching from afar not being noticed.


Red it’s all red; it’s red but I can’t run away, (why) because you are holding my hand, keeping me from running away. 2 feet now touching the distance is now gone. I feel like I lost something. I’m scared, why did you notice me? I thought i was so careful. “ ‘X’ please now that you hold me please don’t let me go. I lost everything now I have nothing. Please don’t put anymore distance between you and I.


5 feet to 0 gone in a blink of an eye


Your back to my eyes, my eyes to your back.

Now my hand in you hand, your side by my side.

 

By: Marisa Chau

To Be Uninspired.

allets's picture
Online
Joined: 2012/08/19
Portrait Of A Life Well Lived

Death as falling off and continuing another journey is patently fine. May I suggest "...body's wishes are fulfilled..." Here you can write until your heart screams, "Stop all this contentment!" Write on - Lady A~