My Boy

My boy,

Even though he is far away,

I know he is always there,

Through think and thin,

I love him with all my heart,

He is so fine as he walks down the hall,

He is so funny,

When he talks about people tripping and falling,

We can talk about anything,

I feel so safe when I am with him,

I love being around him,

He love the way I act,

I am his girl,

I hope he never forgets that,

My boy.

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Emily McIntyre's picture

I have a bit of constructive criticism. I've been reading a fair number of your poems and I noticed a couple of things. Your poetry is very, very literal... meaning that you basically use poetry to state the facts of a situation and a thing only means exactly what it says. That's all very well and good, but I think it would be interesting to add some poetic techniques: imagery, metaphor, even rhyme scheme if you're so inclined. Try out different things; don't be afraid of something different.

That said, you write just as well as I did when I was your age, if not better. I believe that your poetry will improve a lot when you've had some more years to grow and expand with it. For now... keep working at it, and don't give up, even if I've said something you didn't like. I try only to help.

Keep writing. :)

Rebekah Ann Zeits's picture

I feel that way about my boyfriend.