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Grabbing Home By The Reins

By: Ciara Isaac

Maybe leaving behind something you should never give up on was deplorable of me..

But then again.. I seem to have caught myself constantly miscontruing all the things my father and mother would try telling me

It's almost as if barbed wire is caught between each side of my fragmented heart no longer wanting to know what to believe at this point

But then again, I remember the days as a young child feeling the harsh extensity of the flaming fire burn off my face as I encountered numerous powerful strikes to bow down to your unruly sense of disipline with your bare fists

Also, not finding it hard to believe you let this splintered family down with all your agonizing ways that has turned my mother faint-hearted

Maybe now when you question the unloved days and the lonesome nights, that this gives my mother the uneasy swallow of a more disconsolate glass of wine

You cannot expect a broken family to possibly render you with your desires when you had come home almost every night with the unpleasant smell of alcohol lingering amongst your breath 

All though being not so close to them as I once were before, I had abandoned this lovely misrepresentation of a family.. no longer having the strength in me to protect my sisters from the atrocious monster I believe still lurks inside of you

You cannot expect to poke at someones heart like it is a game of Operation

You cannot expect that after multiple different times of cheating, my mother and this family can believe the assumption that every thing is going to be all right now.. just because you now try convincing us that it is 

Yes I had left.. but not for too long you see

I came back with no choice.. even after my heart had been swallowed my whom I thought to believe was the love of my life

Even so.. I do not know how much desire I have to grab what is left of this dismembered family by the reins and steer it hopefully down a path that has never existed in the first place.. even before my time..

So now I understand why this family remains with such disbelieves..

Because all the important things we had ever wanted to believe..

It will always contain a lie

So why bother?..

Why.. Try?

Because in the end.. it all just ends with "The Boy Who Cried Wolf".. deceiving people to believe his perfidious lies