She (In Beauty—She Lives)

She (In Beauty—She Lives)

She has grown old with the times
possibly an escapist of her own town
(that might have already burnt down)

still burning
(its heat reminisced)
yet feeling
(its flames one could not resist)

'twas a painful mistake
something we all have dreaded
but people were lain there dead
that i would even find it hard to take

how lovely, an idealized love—
a world filled with warmongers
circularly defined by our masters
our mastery of the heaven above

patriciajj's picture

This intense, metaphorical

This intense, metaphorical reflection on the merciless indifference of time and the brutality of a power-hungry society displays impressive craft. A thought-provoking, well-structured and evocative look at the human experience. Well done! 

tula's picture

Thanks.. (Wow!)

(Right on!)  (My first intended reply would have been yikes!)  But you had simply picked up on all the cues, even untackled them so easily, or understood this whole piece perfectly.  And about the style that I had just used among these texts, intertexts (or whatnot), or the metaphors that went passing through/effectuating the commentary you've posted (as perhaps if someone, like a bard, reads my poem), what I'd like to convey in this straightforward and well-structured approach eventually manifested its intended meaning.  Somehow, I'm encouraged to examine my capabilities in using English more and more while I tackle my own kind of language and understand more about a language that best suits me.  There's so much to learn when living in a multicultural society & there's no escaping the many nuances that certainly impact us.. as I honestly struggled to do these lines for sometime.  Thanks, once again, Patriciajj.. And as I work on my limitations of my use of the English language/grammar/vocabulary/etc. and or my inhibitions, your words (especially in this comment section), including (most of all) your great poems, shall help me improve (especially on my poetic capabilities in the future to come).  It inspires me at a much deeper level (psychic/spiritual/etc.), I thought.


Additional note:  I apologize for, sometimes, when I probably could not reply sooner.  I hold day jobs, and that might not outrightly explain any expected misconception about why I might be disregarding any of your comments when, in fact or in actuality, I am just preoccupied.  But, until here.., I wish you well; your poems (even though I was hesitant to leave a comment upon reading some of them, at certain times) were just beautiful themselves.. words cannot yet express what I truly wanted to tell you exactly (perhaps).  (I thought, maybe because your words are truly operating on a psychic level, which is always nice.)

patriciajj's picture

Thank you so much for your

Thank you so much for your honest, thrilling and appreciative response. I'm so pleased to have discovered your amazing, thought-provoking poems, and when time allows, I'll dive into more. Like you, I have a lot going on my life. Thank you kindly for visiting my page and taking the time to read my work. Your comments here were beyond encouraging. Thank you!