When I Do Something Wrong

When I do something wrong,
I immediately feel overwellming sadness,
and dissapointment in myself,
expecially when my mother gets involved.
Her praise is something I live off of,
and when she gets dissapointed in me,
I tend to cry my eyeballs out.
I hate it when she is dissapointed in me,
since I basically need to do
what i can, to make her proud of me.
I usually tend to learn
from the mistakes I made, immediately,
but sometimes it takes
me a couple of tries.
When I do something wrong,
I get really mad at myself.
I grill myself on why I did it,
over and over again,
just to try and understand.

I hate it when I do something wrong,
it makes me feel crazy inside.
I stay upset for several days,
and sometimes, for several weeks.
The pain builds up inside,
as it tears me up on the inside.
When I do something wrong,
I beat myself up over it.
I get mad at myself,
and get more hurt overtime.
So, even if I am not caught,
I end up telling on myself because
I cannot stand having my mother
not proud of me, her being upset with me.
When I do something wrong,
I know that it's wrong,
and feel bad about it.
I don't know why I react this way,
but maybe it's a good thing,
something that could help me
do what is right.

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SSmoothie's picture

YOU HAVE A VERY GOOD CONCIENCE!

hey we all disapoint our mothers but it shouldn't hurt that much, its part of growing up finding your own boundaries and pushing the boundaries around you. i guess you feel shes been through enough, but so have you so give yourself a break fir normal kid behaviour, dont griw up too quick! :) HugSS ps your mother will always love you and forgive you, 99% of the time ;)


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am

thisisme789's picture

Lol, and what about the other

Lol, and what about the other 1% of the time XD


<3

facethetruth2b's picture

I know all to well on beating

I know all to well on beating yourself up because of the wrong choice you make ... A little advice that I learned along the way ..To be forgiven you must forgive yourself ...To be loved you must love yourself.. Hang in their , yur mother loves you unconditionally no matter what .A mothers love is like no other ...
Stop beating yourself up and talk to her about what you did wrong and forgive yourself.


you laugh at me because I am differant, I laugh at you because You are all the same ...(KoRn) J.D......

thisisme789's picture

=) thanks girl! That means

=) thanks girl! That means alot!


<3