Needing to Feel Sad

I feel as if
I should be sad,
but my body will not let me.

The hurt and pain,
that’s hidden inside,
refuses to come out.

Pushing as hard,
as I possibly can,
to get the pain out.

It pushes back,
laughing at me,
knowing I will not win.

Eventually I must give up,
let it know it has won,
let the pain stay inside.

Until I try again,
and get myself to cry,
then it will be alright.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written about my baby sister Jessica. Jessica, if you are able to read this, I love you, and I miss you sooo much! I'm sorry that we couldn't have gotten closer.

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