Wai(eigh)t

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1 to 2 years old

You like to think you're dignified
carrots, celery sticks, water and nothing fried
you say that you don't fit your figure
and you constantly complain that you're disfigured
every time you puke and shake and shiver
making careful cuts with your scissors

every single meal, prepared with care
eaten and and puked up just like the swarms of flies
excuses you make up to pretend you're not scared
you know we all see through your disguise

you know you wait, your weight
you know just what i hate
you know that you wait, your weight
you're irate at your weight
mad about the little things that you've ate
the little things that you ate

you create your own tragedies
you blame your family for your agony
malnourished and battered and beaten
feeling guilty for everything we have eaten

you know while you wait, your weight
i know what you hate
you wait, your hate
mad about the little things you ate
the little things you ate

Author's Notes/Comments: 

3ish years old. about an ex friend.

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allets's picture

Self-Hate

We get lost sometimes, find solace in purging...food, friends, family, closeness - I send a prayer and best hopes for health - Lady A


 

 

pldappls's picture

i dont really do it anymore.

i dont really do it anymore. there was a period where it got really bad and i got really skinny but i was doing drugs too so i guess that doesn't count. this isn't about me 100% though. more about someone i used to be friends with and her outlook on life and people who weren't boards