Overthinking sitting here

with her

I can’t help but scribble

I don’t

miss you

I miss the idea

of you, I

thought I missed



I feel like I should

miss the way

you told me

your best lies

things you cast

into the woodwork

and I didn’t even get to watch them

go up in flames


But now I can use

your chair in my brain

to keep

more of

how I want to learn her

relearn her

with my hands and head


Every off

beat of her songs

Every beginning

I carve into tree trunks

Every moment that makes

something a little bit better

Every what about us


I keep


the list of

things I don’t know at all


like how to say

I love you

and not feel like

something’s lost


But there’s still

something brighter than

I can say,

something to kill kickstart my heart,

something about

saying it out loud,


you caught me


Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 8/30/17

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