I slowly open my window, allowing the sounds of the outside world to filter through. I press my forehead against the screen, peering out into the street. I am on the top floor, there is nothing above me. Slowly, I repeat the same actions with the screen, sliding it upwards.

I lean out the window and look down. I notice the bricks jutting out of the walls. Footholds, I think to myself. I sit in the window sill and slide out of the window, starting to stand up. I position my foot on one of the bricks, hoping that it doesn't give way from underneath me ... at least not yet.

I briefly wonder if I tied my robe securely enough. It's all I have covering my near naked body as I advance up the wall. The bricks are rough on my fingers and tear at my skin. Finally I pull myself atop of the apartment building and smile. My back still to the world. I sigh as I look up to the sky. The wind blows and the clouds shift to reveal a lone star twinkling in the distance.

Tears begin to stream down my face as I stare up into the night sky. The wind slices across my face, causing my tears to partially freeze midstream. Finally ready, I spread my arms wide and grin as I let go and allow myself to fall backwards. The air swirles around me as I speed to the ground.

I briefly wonder how long it will take before my sister realizes I'm even missing before I hit the ground hard. The breath is knocked out of me. Literally. I am dead.

My skull is cracked open on the remenince of a tree stump that was under my bedroom window. My old discarded cigarette butts outline my body like police tape as the blood flows from my head. My eyes are still open and my now glazed over stare is still afixed on that lone star.

I am finally at peace.


Author's Notes/Comments: 

I'm feeling unstable right now. My emotions are all over the place. This is just something I was thinking about as I lay crying in my bed for no reason.

View serendipity72083's Full Portfolio
Teenie Billingsley's picture

i have thought these same thoughts many times, and i have acted upon them. thanks for sharing your thoughts, it brought back many memories. teenie