Flitting Flock of Thrush

Folder: 
Out of the Blue

Have you ever seen

a saffron field

full of bright orange stars?

A tigerlily meadowblush

strewn with dottings

of paintbrush?

A fruit tree

studded with

a flitting flock

of thrush



(to N)

Author's Notes/Comments: 

to N L

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saiom's picture

Gopal I took your advice thank you



 

 

wemni's picture

saiom. i think this should be two poems. the first one ending with a flitting flock of thrush. because that is the end of one vision. still, colorful, then swoosh: action. plus the rhythem is perfect at that point. the next immage is nice, but different mood. the continuing of the rhyme is not enough justification for adding it the the already perfect gem. the mulberry story is wonderful. but again, dont gild the lily. make the two added verses a new poem. go back to the original ending of the flock. thanks