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Flitting Flock of Thrush
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Out of the Blue Have you ever seen
a saffron field
full of bright orange stars?
A tigerlily meadowblush
strewn with dottings
of paintbrush?
A fruit tree
studded with
a flitting flock
of thrush
(to N)
Gopal I took your advice thank you
saiom. i think this should be two poems. the first one ending with a flitting flock of thrush. because that is the end of one vision. still, colorful, then swoosh: action. plus the rhythem is perfect at that point. the next immage is nice, but different mood. the continuing of the rhyme is not enough justification for adding it the the already perfect gem. the mulberry story is wonderful. but again, dont gild the lily. make the two added verses a new poem. go back to the original ending of the flock. thanks