1998 Without You

Written while Brenda and I were separated.
January 6, 1998

 

I awake in the dark, alone,  
Without You.

 

Staggering to the kitchen,
hitting lights that hurt my eyes,
I still feel the darkness,
Without You.

 

Having instant coffee for one,
silently I sit,
reading the morning paper.
No one interrupts me,
but my thoughts don't focus,
Without You.

 

Without You
a part of me is missing -
missing you.

 

Rob

 

Written a month after Brenda and I were divorced.

 

Without You (part two)
March 1998

 

I awake in the morning
in my one-room digs,
(no room for two)
just me and my thoughts,
Without You.

 

Drinking instant coffee - alone,
I gaze -
Our picture on a shelf
imagines a couple together,
but traveling apart -
I sip the bitter brew,
my trip is now
Without You.

 

And yet, I'm comforted to know,
that though we are apart,
you are alive and well and happy.
For there is a part of me,
that can never be
Without You.

 

Rob

 

Written after Brenda was diagnosed with a terminal illness.

 

Without You(part three)
Sunday, June 18, 2000

 

I sit here on the beach - naked
Without You.
This has always been my thing,
one that we never shared,
but you were always there,
somewhere, waiting
and I knew that I was not
Without You.

 

Waiting for the Sun to reappear
from behind dark clouds -
A metaphor for your light,
that I now watch fading, and know
that I soon will be
Without You.

 

Two years divorced,
two years traveling
our own separate course,
but somehow connected,
I never was
Without You.

 

It was enough to know,
that you were
alive and well and happy
but that is now a false illusion,
for now I fear the fast approaching day
that the world and I will be, truly,
Without You.

 

And, the tears come to my eyes,
under these gray and rainy skies,
but my metaphoric gloom subsides,
as healing Helios rays push through
and now a blue and sunny day,
lets me know that I will never be
Without You.  

 

Brenda, you will always be in my heart and my mind,
I love you, Rob

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Sometimes we write to allay our pain.

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lyrycsyntyme's picture

You've written your life so well. I'm sorry for the loss you suffered in Brenda. In a way i understand, it others i know it's different. But it seems to me you gave her love after you separated, in those days she needed it. Noble is a word some might use. I'd like to find a better one, but i guess all that needs to be said is simple 'love'.

I'll certainly have to come back and read more of your writing. Would like to find "Nevermind", maybe you can point me to it. Take care.