If Jesus Died for My Sins

If Jesus died for my sins

Then I suppose I owe it to him

To keep on sinning.

If you raised me to honor you

Then I guess I need to honor your example.

She had no underwear on, and a shirt

That advertised her chest.

I could see between her legs

How they seemed to fall inside of her

To be absorbed by the hairless lips

I never liked it before but somehow

She was alluring me and didn’t realize it

She was just happy to be naked

She had the shirt on almost to emphasize it

Because shouldn’t be anymore naked

With golden brown skin

That looked like warmth.

She had been so loyal to him

And now she was ready to fuck someone else

After the blows and the pain

She couldn’t even leave him

She was just hoping he wouldn’t let her

Fuck someone else.

I can already see her crying when we are done

She is too vulnerable.

I’m fingering her and tasting it

I am licking inside and feeling that warmth on my tongue

Because I don’t really like the taste.

I am making her moan and its making me hard.

I am remembering being slapped and falling down

Of wanting to learn to fight

So I wouldn’t be the one to fall down.

Of having to forgive you

Because I was too much like you

So now I’m watching others fall

And all I can hear is them moaning.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Please critique this poem.

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palewingedpoetess's picture

This was a total surprise! I always read poems on the main page about God or Jesus or any pertinent religious figure.
I was not expecting how this one uncoiled into some dysfunction. You wrote it in a gritty graphic fashion but in that manner it attained its own sort of beauty for this reader. If you made this up and this was not some real life experience you've quite a talent in you. If it a reflection of a real experience then I am sure writing helps you to cope with such baggage you carry. Either way, I find you from this one poem to be quite a talent and I will read more of your work and comment further at another date. Do keep sharing in the mean time though. It Would be a shame if you gave up this soon with sharing these strips you peel from your poetic soul with us here on post poems.
I just hope my critique did your piece here a recognizable justice. Sincerely pleased to have read your work, Melissa Lundeen.