The Pickle Poem

I can't overlook what you did because it was an incredibly stupid thing to do.

You wanted a batch of pickles and you hired Aunt Bee to make them for you.

Almost nobody will ask her to make pickles but you decided to let her.

A person would need a cast iron stomach to handle her pickles, you should've known better.

When it comes to making pickles, Aunt Bee has absolutely no skill.

You'd better be very careful because her pickles are known to kill.

Opie's mother ate a jar of those pickles and that's what ended her life.

Because of Bee's pickles, Opie lost his mother and Andy lost his wife.

You hired Aunt Bee to make your pickles because it was dirt cheap.

If you eat them, you'll learn that what you sew is what you'll reap.

When Aunt Bee makes pickles, it's dumb but what you did was dumber.

Bee should go to jail for poisoning people with her kerosene cucumbers.

When I criticize her and her pickles, you say that I'm being mean.

But I won't apologize for criticizing pickles that taste like kerosene.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem was inspired by an episode of The Andy Griffith Show.

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