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i didn't love you, or we would be together.

i am the most closed-minded person you know.

i used you

for sex, so i could tell people i was taken,

so i could have a first love.

i used you all along.

and now i'll go back to him

like you always knew i would.

i keep doing this to you, putting you through this.

i'm a terrible lay.

and since i'm waiting til marriage now,

my husband will realize how bad the sex is

and leave me.

and i'll look back on us.

i'll realize how fucked up my relationships are now

and i'll want you back,

but you won't take me.

i'll be left with children.

and yes, all men in my future will be

terrible men.

and i'll be as miserable as you are when i'm

your age,

because you want me to be.