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Big gun

eclipsed sun

razor blade

dark shade

little pills

cold chills

thick rope

no hope

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last updated 12 October 2010 - 1:26am
©30 October 2002 - 12:20am — raila
18 August 2005 - 8:28pm — Shaketa Copelin (not verified)
Shaketa Copelin's picture

Damn! So short, yet so deep.

19 November 2004 - 2:19am — lostinsoul
lostinsoul's picture

Holy Crap! that's fricken awesome!
it's short, and snappy! I love it... keep up the good work!
lots of love...
Jamie Jo

31 July 2004 - 8:36pm — enolalily
enolalily's picture

I love this, the short fractured sentences mimic the thought patterns so well...and the downward spiral ending in no hope...well I've been there, you express it greatly.
Anne

13 February 2004 - 5:06am — Katie Brewer (not verified)
Katie Brewer's picture

i like this poem a lot. i have to go to a shrink now because i have tried to commit suicide many times...but i guess thats the way it is!

5 April 2005 - 1:21am — wisdomscry
wisdomscry's picture

Master of haiku, we are not worthy!

Prophetic Echo

Gail Clarke

12 November 2003 - 12:29am — Billl Santon (not verified)
Billl Santon's picture

I think this peom is too long to be a short poem and too short to be a long poem... If you catch my drift.

3 October 2003 - 1:40am — Marvi Beckman (not verified)
Marvi Beckman's picture

nice

11 July 2003 - 10:13pm — *~* Slendah*~* (not verified)
*~* Slendah*~*'s picture

I recently lost a cousin to suicide. I don't know about the rest of the family, but I can't help but feel that I failed him somehow.

11 July 2003 - 9:11am — Cheryl Chun (not verified)
Cheryl Chun's picture

wow... amazing, intense, i love it.

28 January 2003 - 8:42pm — Ernest Bevans (not verified)
Ernest Bevans's picture

This poem gets right to the point.
Dorothy Parker had a simular poem she called
"resume"

Resume

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

It is true that all poets share the same soul
I love your perspective you made your point
with a tighter rythm and with less words.

8 November 2002 - 4:59am — LINDA JOHNSON (not verified)
LINDA JOHNSON's picture

Short and quick to the point!!! Easy to happen when people stop paying attention.

7 November 2002 - 11:47pm — J.B. Manning (not verified)
J.B. Manning's picture

Wow man, I really really like this poem. I'm going to read a lot more of your stuff. You surely have talent.

J

7 November 2002 - 2:49am — Shanita Johnson (not verified)
Shanita Johnson's picture

excellent visuals on this piece

7 November 2002 - 2:16am — ultimprv
ultimprv's picture

creative
very

Much Respect, One Love

2 November 2002 - 1:58am — Nicole Bingham (not verified)
Nicole Bingham's picture

nice images without having to come and and say everything that is implied. like the choppy way it is written, it gives you a sense of the neck snapping as the rope pulls or the sound of the bullet crunching through a skull. lovely.

30 October 2002 - 8:07am — misty lckey (not verified)
misty lckey's picture

this poem leads to one last breath.

30 October 2002 - 1:57am — Tawanda Roberson (not verified)
Tawanda Roberson's picture

SHIT!!! THAT'S ALL I CAN SAY LUV...LOVELY!!

14 November 2002 - 1:30am — Abbey Reeder (not verified)
Abbey Reeder's picture

nicely written. i can relate to this poem in some ways because i have thought of a few of these things when i was in my deep, dark depression, but have gotten help, by going to therapy and having great friends, and i am doing much better since then. great read.