Suicide

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Suicide

Big gun

eclipsed sun

razor blade

dark shade

little pills

cold chills

thick rope

no hope

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Shaketa Copelin's picture

Damn! So short, yet so deep.

lostinsoul's picture

Holy Crap! that's fricken awesome!
it's short, and snappy! I love it... keep up the good work!
lots of love...
Jamie Jo

enolalily's picture

I love this, the short fractured sentences mimic the thought patterns so well...and the downward spiral ending in no hope...well I've been there, you express it greatly.
Anne

Katie Brewer's picture

i like this poem a lot. i have to go to a shrink now because i have tried to commit suicide many times...but i guess thats the way it is!

wisdomscry's picture

Master of haiku, we are not worthy!


Prophetic Echo

Gail Clarke

Billl Santon's picture

I think this peom is too long to be a short poem and too short to be a long poem... If you catch my drift.

Marvi Beckman's picture

nice

*~* Slendah*~*'s picture

I recently lost a cousin to suicide. I don't know about the rest of the family, but I can't help but feel that I failed him somehow.

Cheryl Chun's picture

wow... amazing, intense, i love it.

Ernest Bevans's picture

This poem gets right to the point.
Dorothy Parker had a simular poem she called
"resume"

Resume

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

It is true that all poets share the same soul
I love your perspective you made your point
with a tighter rythm and with less words.

LINDA JOHNSON's picture

Short and quick to the point!!! Easy to happen when people stop paying attention.

J.B. Manning's picture

Wow man, I really really like this poem. I'm going to read a lot more of your stuff. You surely have talent.

J

Shanita Johnson's picture

excellent visuals on this piece

ultimprv's picture

creative
very

Much Respect, One Love

Nicole Bingham's picture

nice images without having to come and and say everything that is implied. like the choppy way it is written, it gives you a sense of the neck snapping as the rope pulls or the sound of the bullet crunching through a skull. lovely.

misty lckey's picture

this poem leads to one last breath.

Tawanda Roberson's picture

SHIT!!! THAT'S ALL I CAN SAY LUV...LOVELY!!

Abbey Reeder's picture

nicely written. i can relate to this poem in some ways because i have thought of a few of these things when i was in my deep, dark depression, but have gotten help, by going to therapy and having great friends, and i am doing much better since then. great read.