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I am Monogamous and Polyamorous (Actually I am Unpartnered So I Don't Know What I am)
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Thought Provocation by DaddyO
"How can it be anything but selfishness to tell someone that they can't have the gift of your love, your time, or your body, based on anything but the connection between you or their deeds and words?"
~unknown FetLife member defending polyamory
I will agree that it very much could be selfishness. But there are several ways this could be something different than selfishness too.
First of all it could be insecurity. A person may feel insecure and unable to not perpetuate a negative vibe if sharing.
It could also be a conscious decision to devote all of one person's energy to one other person. We like to think in mystical and spiritual terms when it comes to love, but when it comes to "energies" those are determined on a person by person basis.
As someone open to polyamory and who has been polyamorous in the past, I can honestly say, that some dynamics with certain lovers have lent themselves beautifully to the concept of polyamory. If a kink of theirs is being shared, for instance. Or if they already were participating in a healthy loving relationship.
Considering my reputation as a flirtatious player it may come to a shock that I actually am open to the practice of monogamous relations with someone.
Providing a realistic and open approach is maintained (I am still gonna flirt like crazy!). But if I have a devoted lover who feels love deeply by being "my only one" then I am capable of showing her love in that way.
You may notice, until I am in the throes of a relationship and the two (or three or four....) of us determine what those boundaries and barriers are, I have listed myself as polyamorous and monogamous!
