"Final Conversation"

Hillbilly Smiles

by Jeph Johnson


When she spoke through the phone
my eyes welled up with tears.
She left me holding on as if I had no fears.


But fear entered my soul,
terror, then my mind.
Rage started to surface, then she spoke so kind:


"I still miss you a lot."
She told me through the line.
"You've been very good to me, I don't regret those times."


But times like this demand
some kind of bravery;
A kind I've never shown...the kind she showed to me.


It was our final conversation.


I said, "I miss you too.
I've never felt so right;
Holding close the woman I want most in life."


"It can't go on this way!"
She snapped back, way too fast.
"Stop reminiscing, leave old memories in the past!"


Trying to understand,
I asked for reasons why...
"It's just a feeling deep inside our love has died.


Our love not quite fullfilled,
yet closer than before;
Circling helplessly like a revolving door."


It was our final conversation.


She still wants to be friends,
she still needs company,
But she just cannot comprehend her life with me.


She said: "Guess I've got to go,"
so I hung up the phone,
Contemplating how it would be on my own.


Without her by my side,
would I now limp through life?
Or could I walk with dignity to find a wife?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

for Angie, circa 1994
Melody based loosely on "She Dreams" written by Tim Mensy and Gary Harrison and recorded by Mark Chestnut

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