PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

   When I didn’t Forward the Chain Letter

   Clark Steven Lupton

   2002



  It happened again without fail

  I got another chain letter in my email

  It's one of the Internet's latest trends

  You got to forward it to 20 of your friends



  If you do, your wishes will be complete

  And bad luck will befall you if you delete

  I didn't answer the letter right away

  And so I had a lousy day



  It started as I stepped out the door

  There was a banana peel on the floor

  I slipped on it and fell on my head

  And spent the day in a hospital bed



  I was rested and became inspired

  But missed a meeting and I was fired

  So I had no money and couldn't buy food

  It made me cranky and I was rude



  The day was humid and it was hot

  So I shouted curses at a cop

  He arrested me and locked me in jail

  How I wished I answered the chain mail!



  Sitting in a jail really sucks

  Then I heard my friend won a million bucks

  His life was getting better and better

  All because he sent his chain letter



  I got out of jail and asked my girlfriend to be my wife

  She said, "Maybe in another life"

  I went to mom's and she served me tough meat, fried

  She said, "By the way, Doggie died"

  

  "Mom I don't care, I was fired for missing a meeting"

  "I just thought I'd tell you what you're eating"

  I gagged and felt sick

  And ran to the bathroom really quick



  After that I went home

  And got a call on the telephone

  It was the bill collector and boy was he mad!

  I had to pay my debts to him and he was my dad!



  "Son, pay your debts to me today

  I'm taking your mom out - it's her birthday"

  "Dad, I can't I'm flat broke

  And mom cooked Doggie which made me choke"



"Well son that's not my fault

  She usually puts in too much salt.

  Last night for dinner she served boiled mouse"

  Just then a meteor crashed into my house



  I survived just by a thread

  "Anyway pay me tomorrow or else you're dead"

  We hung up and I crawled out into the yard

  Why was my life getting so hard?



  I was outside and in so much pain

  Just then it began to rain

  All my wounds hurt and burned

  "Send chain letters" was what I learned



  Now that you've read this, this is what you should do:

  Send this to twenty people and your wish will come true

  This is serious, not just some fad

  Send this to twenty people or your luck will turn bad



  This isn't a waste of your time

  This can actually be a sign

  So what are you waiting for?

  Do you also want to bang your head on the floor?