HYPOTHETICALLY

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JOURNAL#3

what would I do if you were to marry

would that make my life easier

no not very

thinking painful thoughts such as these is foolish

if not scary

of my own malicious mental outburst I am now wary

writing out my feelings so to understand them is

my featured forte'

in this makeshift mind sex I consider most favorable foreplay

its hard to tell what next my fears will fall prey to

and onto what foremost paranoia will my mind then decide to logically screw

when I'm writing, in my skill I fully believe

some label this as a gift, I say an outlet or

passionate peeve

and yes I do often wear my hacked up heart on my

own soiled sleeve

I have done so since I fell for a heartless man long

ago by the name of Steve

now though when I think of him I no longer angrily

seethe

I am now indifferent towards him I no longer grapple

not to grieve

I have a very strong will for this I have to thank my

mom "Fred"

on the subject of love  a lot of light she has so

selflessly shed

never cry all night for the unattainable moon

you don't eat pudding with a fork

when you know it requires a spoon

In other much more wise words

NOTHING EQUALS TOO MUCH TOO FAST TOO SOON........

(written March 9,1991)




Author's Notes/Comments: 

tightly held beliefs I've had for many years of my adult life.

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Ruth Lovejoy's picture

hmmm interesting evocative piece.I too was with a Steve long ago.Indifferent,hmm I don't know about that one though.Feel as I once did,no definitely not but with the years that pass and the tears that stopped you move on.If you are logical you are thankful for the good times of the relationship and for the bad thankful they are over,then and only then can you deal with your life and move on