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where the darkness screams

my tears sit and sing

a soft harsh lullaby

of familiar despair

shattered once again

into silence

my thoughts feverishly

hunt for some solace

blessedly

for me

GOD is always there

it hurts to be so wrong

now I am coldly confused

my reality again

shaken to the emotions

how could I be so wrong

about someone I thought to be

so right

why can't the soul carry with

it a knife

to cut out the heart

when its bleeding me to death

its so funny

to be

over one simple word

such a disgusting wreck

as one pin prick drawing blood

wont hurt

but a million can kill

and in my mind they do

"EXCEPT"

I never thought such a

harmless little word

could in one fell swoop

SMASH

in me

so much hope and belief

sometimes

I think I'll go to my grave

wishing

wishing

wishing

that things could be different

and of course

for full true acceptance

not twisted ideas of it

oh and

ah but one day I'll go to a

glorious place

where my weight and the word

"EXCEPT"

can no longer have the power

to hurt me

anymore...............

(Feb 15,2001 422am)