Fresh Cantaloupe: 2 for $1

~Fresh Cantaloupe: 2 for $1~


After Pastor Taylor burned a Koran he was promptly kidnapped by a Muslim man named Mooma. Mooma took the bound and gagged Pastor Taylor deep into a nearby woods where they could have some privacy.


The Homelite chainsaw Mooma took with him to the woods was one he had purchased at Sears. He had a landscaping project to do on the property around the house he rented from Bob Withabey. Bob Withabey took two-hundred dollars off one-month's rent in exchange for Mooma's time and labor.


Mooma found a large, hollow stump in the woods, and stuffed Pastor Taylor down into it. Pastor Taylor's head protruded from the top of the trunk. Mooma removed the gag from Pastor Taylor's mouth now that there was no chance anyone could hear Pastor Taylor's screams. Mooma thought the Pastor looked pretty funny like that.


Mooma looked around and found a tree that was about two feet diameter and proceeded to cut it down with the Homelite chainsaw. His idea was for the tree to fall on Pastor Taylor's head, but when the tree fell, it missed by about ten feet, so Mooma found another tree, cut it down with the same intentions in mind, but it, too, missed by a few feet. Mooma looked around and found another tree that, judging by its tilt just might hit the target, and sure enough, when that tree came crashing down it hit Pastor Taylor's head dead on. The Pastor's head was smashed, and after Mooma pulled the tree out of the way so he could see the damage he noticed that Pastor Taylor's head looked like a squashed, gray-haired cantalope. It was about the same size as one, or perhaps a tad bigger.


Pastor Taylor's step-son, Randy, hated him, and when he found out what had happened to his step-father he laughed so hard he had to hold his stomache with both hands. Randy's stomache began to hurt so much he wondered if it was possible to strain a muscle from laughing. 


As soon as Randy had himself calmed down he got in his car and started to drive to Pastor Taylor's church to console some of the Pastor's flock who were gathered there. As he drove down Olive Avenue he saw a large sign in front of a fruit stand that read: FRESH CANTALOUPE 2 for $1.

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allets's picture

Nice storiette

Sensitive, insensitive, faith as foolishness, the works - and a surprise ending too - Could not stop reading - enjoyed and pondered. This could be a true story - Lady A