Bob Withabey's Interactive Outhouse Preserve

~Bob Withabey's Interactive Outhouse Preserve~


It wasn't long after Bob Withabey migrated from the east coast to Idaho, also known as the "Gem State," that he realized "Gem" had nothing to do with precious stones.


As Bob traversed his new state and met several locals, he noticed how much they liked to share tales and yarns.  Sometimes after listening to an Idahoan converse for a few minutes he would be impressed by the artful telling of a particularly creative yarn, and knew he had heard a real "gem." 


"Aha! thought Bob, after being treated with a truly fine gem while chatting with a spud farmer one afternoon, "I'll collect gems as a new interest! This could be fun! After collecting several gems I'll publish a guidebook titled: "Gems From the Gem State. An Introduction to Idaho."


So, early the next morning, Bob arose and readied himself for his first day of gem collecting, and, having pondered where to begin his search as he lie down for the night the evening before, he thought it might be best to go where, although yarns might not be as plentiful as they are in obvious places such as bars and churches, it might be wise to gather quality gems from individuals who frequent more isolated places, so he started off for an ice cave he discovered when he first explored the wide-open and desolate steppes of south-central Idaho, where he had encountered a fine gem as it sparkled on the lips of the ice cave's lone caretaker and guide.


Bob, always curious, couldn't help but take a few side-trips over old, rutted roads he came upon for a quick look at deserted farmhouses, dilapidated barns, rusty farm implements, and scattered, white, animal bones as he headed for the ice cave, and, as he did, he noticed a few stray outhouses. He thought the outhouses were unique, and even aesthetically appealing in their own, gray-wooded and rustic way, and this gave Bob, who was always in touch with his American entrepeneurial spirit, an idea. 


"Maybe I could round up a bunch of these relic outhouses and turn them loose in an outhouse preserve. I could charge the public an admittance fee and make a few bucks," thought Bob. Then he had an even grander idea:


"Besides creating an outhouse preserve, maybe I should have it be an interactive outhouse preserve. Not only would visitors pay a nominal fee to simply view the orphaned outhouses, but they would also, for the price of a ticket, be privileged to water and feed the outhouses! One dollar for a water ticket. Two dollars for a feed ticket. Sanitary tissue would be included at no extra charge."


The more Bob thought about the interactive outhouse preserve the more creative his mind began working, and it wasn't long before he had decided food, mainly local-grown legumes for their roughage characteristics, and drinks such as pop, coffee, and beer would be the way to go. That way, the patrons of the interactive outhouse preserve would be more enthusiastic about watering and feeding the outhouses, and profits would surely soar." 


"But, for now, Bob Withabey chuckled to himself as he pulled up to the shack placed over the ice cave, I'm gonna go in here and collect my first genuine Gem State gem." 


D. B. Tompsett



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