Because I 'asked for it'

     For a while I blamed the school; they were the ones that taught me to be careful around strangers. Then I blamed my mother because, from a young age, she told me to watch out for bikers and gang members. People who looked dangerous. Then blame fell on society, because they taught me that it was all my fault. That if I wanted to dress up and feel pretty, and allow myself to be in a situation where I am alone with a boy, that I was asking for it. Then I blamed myself, because how could I not have seen it coming? How could I have been so blinded by your bright blue eyes and your sense of humour? How could I have let you force me into sex? 


     Rapists aren’t always strangers, or dangerous looking men. Sometimes, they are friends or family, the boy in your history class or your older brother’s best friend. Sometimes they are charming boys with pretty eyes and a dazzling smile. Sometimes they will buy you too many drinks at the bar. Sometimes they will hold a door for you or pay for your dinner. 

     Do not let them fool you girls; you did not ask for it. It is not your fault. If you feel violated, you were violated. If you were drunk, you could not consent. If you said no, it was a breach of your personal space. 


     Finally, I decided to blame you. Because, despite what you said; that I was ‘asking for it’ by wearing that pretty little dress. That I ‘owed’ you because you payed for that fancy dinner. That I was ‘teasing’ you because I let you kiss me. 


     It was not the educational systems fault. It was not my mother’s fault. It was not society’s fault. 

     It was not my fault.


     It was your fault. 

NF_Angel's picture

Very well said.    It's the

Very well said. 


It's the rapist fault for not controlling his or her urges.... But it is society fault that we get the blame for being raped just cuz of what we're wearing.  But if a man or woman can't handle not raping someone cuz of what they are wearing,  then they need to lock themselves up in their house and not come back.  And society needs to stop making it the victims fault for them getting raped.  You can be wearing or doing anything and still get raped.  

*~I know I'm blessed, but I'm cursed to ~ NF*

Joarge89's picture

Beautifully said!

The only fault in rape lies with the rapist.  Nothing else.  You write beautifully, and the message is portrayed perfectly.  It's one of those "couldn't have said it better myself" moments.  Thanks for sharing; look forward to reading more!

"A poem is never finished, only abandoned" - Paul Valery